Saturday, March 21, 2015

The Boxer

Been several weeks since I've had time to do any of my own writing. After my Sunday off, the work piled on again until I was barely keeping my head above water. Now it's the weekend and I can finally breathe again. I did a bit on a scene about a boxer that came to me. I don't know where it will go, if it goes anywhere. But I've copied the opening part of the scene below.


The boxer sits on his stool in the corner of the ring. He sits hunched over, eyes closed. He can’t hear the crowd, though they must be near. All that his ears register is the thunder-boom of his own heart and the rasp in his throat.

The boxer’s arms lie heavy across his legs, and the legs tremble as if from the weight. He wants the shaking to stop but the legs are past the point of listening to such commands. He thinks about water then, and wonders for a moment where his manager is. Those thoughts soon fade to be replaced by more important ones.  

How long until the bell sounds again? How long until I have to get up? Again.

It can be only seconds now. The interlude between rounds isn’t long. It’s never long enough. He wishes the bell would never sound, that he could sit here until time itself turned to amber around him. That boon is not to be his.

The bell rings.



BernardL said...

Strong scene - it reminds me of the Simon & Garfunkel song 'The Boxer'. Boxing is one of those realities in sports though where very few reluctantly participate.

Ty said...

Very nice opener. Looking forward to see where it goes. For some reason my mind sees an older Steve Costigan nearly ready to retire from the ring.

Anonymous said...

Nice to read this...

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Nice one, Charles. I have always wondered what drives boxers into the ring. My father used to say it was the most cruel sport.

Charles Gramlich said...

Bernard, thanks, man.

Ty, probably Costigan is a part of the influence.

Weekend-Windup, thanks for visiting.

Prashant, I've actually never been able to watch much boxing because of that.

Lisa said...

interesting scene, never really thought what a boxer would be thinking during that break time, you got it and it is what we feel and think too most of the time

sage said...

Glad I'm not him... nice capture of a scene; you could tighen it up a bit by cutting some repetitive words.

Cloudia said...

You make us hear the bell

ALOHA from Honolulu

Aimlesswriter said...

I can feel his exhaustion and pain. Well done!

Charles Gramlich said...

Lisa, he's one tired fellow.

Sage, it's still pretty rough draft but cutting is always a good thing.

Cloudia, thanks.

aimless, I could certainly feel it myself.

Anonymous said...

A strong scene, indeed. I did not mind some of the repetitions. It made the main character more tired and perhaps, a bit older (than he should be to cope with all that awaits him in the ring).
Also I sense the whole scene may be an allegory.


ivan said...

Great scenario. Journeyman writing!

And I agree with Szelsofa.
Strong scene, and the whole scene could be an allegory.
...Come to think of it a definite allegory.
I am 76 and it's durn hard to get up these days and hit 'em with a left and a right. :)

Oscar Case said...

I remember those dsys well, and you've caught the moments between rounds perfectly.

Unknown said...

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Snowbrush said...

I'm with him.

nephite blood spartan heart said...

I like that, can feel the tension and sweat in the air.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Great scene. Can feel that heartbeat.

jodi said...

Charles-I am a boxer and I love it. Just sparring-no ring. Too old for that! Your boxer might have a roar in his head and Vaseline on his face!

Erik Donald France said...

It's got me, certainly. Such a primal sport, with a few modern trappings added.

Greg said...

nice opening! it really draws you in.

Charles Gramlich said...

Szelsofa, you are correct! ;)

Ivan, thankee, man.

Oscar, thanks. I spent quite a lot of time trying to get it right.

Gordon, thanks for visiting.

Snowbrush, me too.

David J., glad to hear that.

Patti, thank you.

Jodi, the roar. I need to get that in there.

Erik, a metaphor for life.

Greg, thanks. I appreciate it.

X. Dell said...

Powerful sense of foreboding that you depict here.

the walking man said...

Must have been late in the fight or he punched himself out early or he'd be thinking "how many more jabs before i hit him with the knock out?"

Charles Gramlich said...

X. Dell, thanks, man.

Mark, I believe he doubts his ability to win. :)