Friday, July 15, 2011

More Star Trek Versus Conan

Here's a bit more of that, dare I call it, "humor?" Well here goes anyway.

Many people think Chekov has an accent because he’s Russian. In fact, it’s because Conan punched him in the mouth until he could no longer speak straight.

Conan once told Q to get off his ship. Q listened.

Conan was once captured by the Gamesters of Triskelion. He made them fight each other and bet on the outcome. He won several quadrillion Quatloos on his bets but immediately spent it all on strong drink and women.

Conan once wore a red shirt for a whole year. He lived. But the same couldn’t be said for those who accosted Conan during that time.

Dilithium crystals always remain crystallized in the presence of Conan.

The warp drive was invented by Zefram Cockrane when he was running from Conan.

Conan loves Tribbles; Especially grilled over an open flame.

Tribbles are normally born pregnant but not so in the presence of Conan. Conan finds their offspring to be an irresistible hors d’oeurves and they can sense it.

Conan does indeed have a piece of the Federation’s action.

Conan has found that Picard’s bald head puts a dandy shine on his boots.

One of Conan’s wet farts became Wesley Crusher.

Conan once beat Kirk at a game of Fizzbin. He got a Royal Fizzbin with his first hand.

Conan spanked Charlie X.


eric1313 said...

Tribbles.... lol

Deka Black said...

The tribbles ones are really hilarious. But my favorites are the Chkov and Warp drive ones. Humour is a thing very hard to do ut i think...

In the 4th Star Trek movie is not said, but the extincton of the whales was caused because Conan wanted eat fresh fish.

He didn't knew whales are not fish. And Spock did not say anything because was the logic thing to do.

(maybe too long?)

Randy Johnson said...

Love this stuff. Keep them coming.

the walking man said...

I didn't get the Chekov one until I remembered he was a star trek character...I was wondering how Conan could have punched Chekhov (the writer one).

Tom Doolan said...

"Q listened." Bwahaha...priceless. And I can totally picture Conan strutting around the deck of the Enterprise in a red shirt...with the sleeves ripped off.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Grilled tribbles - that's good!

Charles Gramlich said...

eric1313, :)

Deka, that's a good one about the whales. Just the fresh fish part perhaps.

Randy, thanks, glad you enjoyed.

Mark, with that comment, if I didn't know you better I'd think you were an elitist. You may be the only person I know who'd think of Chekhov the writer. ;)

Tom, on definitely, that red shirt would have some stories to tell.

Alex,they might be a little furry to my taste. :)

BernardL said...

All good. Tribble treats were a definite winner. :)

Deka Black said...

Charles: yeah, maybe is better lefty out this part.

Cloudia said...

When Conan goes to Rome
they do as he does!

Aloha from Waikiki;

Comfort Spiral


> < } } ( ° >

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nephite blood spartan heart said...

I especially like that Conan east tribbles.

Charles Gramlich said...

Bernardl, I'm glad to hear that.

Deka, short and punchy seems the general rule for such jokes as these.

Cloudia, indeed so!

David J. West, That seems to be a popular one.

Merisi said...

Ё моё, as Chekhov would have said. ;-)

Charles Gramlich said...

Merisi, back at you. :)

j said...

I did get some of the jokes but not all. That cracked me up more than anything. It reminded me of comedy bits on television where the actor will be portraying a farmer from another country, telling city-folk jokes about goats, onion grass, and foreign farm culture.

You've gotta love a good communication gap :)

Have a great weekend Charles!

j said...

Sort of like when I do posts about my table setting or latest thrifty find, right? HA! I'm laughing again!! Great jokes, Charles ;)

Charles Gramlich said...

Jennifer, humor is perhaps the most subjective thing of all. I don't get a lot of what passes for humor these days. I tend to like a fairly wry, dry humor, with dark edge to it

Greg said...

good stuff! hope all's well with you and yours Charles.

Charles Gramlich said...

Greg, wow, how have you been. Haven't seen you in a long time.

Greg said...

been good, how bout you? got any new books out?

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X. Dell said...

It wouldn't occur to me that Tribbles had much meat on them.

Charles Gramlich said...

Greg, I don't know if you know about Midnight in Rosary, which is an anthology of vampire stories and some vampire and related poetry I've got out from Borgo/Wildside. I've been pretty good in general.

Bookmarking, thanks for visiting.

X-Dell, I figure that's why there are so many of them. You need a lot to fill you up.

Lana Gramlich said...

ROFLMAO! Wet fart = Wesley! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Charles Gramlich said...

Lana, I thought you might like that one, considering Wesley isn't your favorite character. :)

Greg said...

Didn't know about that one, I'll have to check it out.

Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Charles,

I'm growing my own dilithium crystals as I type -- they are a delightful pink color. If you ever want a kit to do so yourself, let me know -- there's a great place in Ann Arbor that sells them, along with other fun robot stuff.

Charles Gramlich said...

Greg, thanks, man.

Michelle, that's prety cool. I didn't know they had such a thing.

Travis Cody said...

Loved the Charlie X and warp drive cracks.