RZ E NEWS

An examination of an ancient manuscript dating all the way back to 1989 has revealed that Sidney Williams, mildly mannered writer by day, is, in fact, the illegitmate son of Satan, conceived during a single night of passion with Yeoman Rand. (Those of you who do not recognize the name of Yeoman Rand are probably either too young for this blog, or insufficiently nerdy). The manuscipt in question is a tome simply called Azarius, which is clearly the name of some sort of demon, and is believed, by this insipid correspondent, to be Williams' name in Hell. A perusal of this "book of evil" easily reveals Williams' parentage. The numbers on the back of the book show three and only three "fives," one less at all points than the 666 of the devil. Furthermore, the book begins with the single line "I'm going to kill a priest," warning enough perhaps of the evil within. And finally, I was rather easily able to find words, rearrange words, or alter words in the actual text to produce such phrases as "father lies," "Satan dad," "mother Rand," and "evil sex."

This is a public service announcement.

This just in: It’s official. Noted Tablet Writer, Clifford, has married his cat. Clifford says that “Cougar…” “is a new breed of cat.” Heh heh heh, if you know what I mean. Pictures of the secret ceremony were taken by Basil Ratbane, who despite his apparent antipathy to this blog, viz a viz his posts, is--in fact--one of my field paparazzi. One of Ratbane's pictures of the Clifford marriage can be found here. This blog will soon carry exclusive photos of the Siberian Honeymoon.