Sympathetic versus unsympathetic

My writing group had a spirited discussion last night about the elements of sympathetic versus unsympathetic characters. It began when I described a scene in the book I'm writing, a scene that I believed illustrated a sympathetic female character but which most other members of my group felt showed, instead, an unsympathetic one. And so, without saying what my own choices were, I offer the following situation and ask you, my blogleagues, what you think. Here it is.

A woman's son was kidnapped when he was about ten and held by the kidnapper for four years. He was molested repeatedly but was eventually found and returned home. He is physically OK but certainly not psychologically well, and he runs away from home himself after about a year, leaving a note to his parents saying: "I'm sorry, but I just can't stay here. Don't worry." For further information, the woman's husband is not a factor, but the woman believes that the molester is still on the loose. Now, my question is: what would a realistic woman and mother do in this situation? What would she do immediatelly? And what would she do over the next four or five days?

Any help would be appreciated.

A killer of a Character

I got a lot of helpful feedback on my character dilemma, which I posted about yesterday. I deliberately withheld one critical piece of information so I could get people's honest response without biasing them. Yes, my main character, Gage, murders someone rather brutally in the first few pages of the book, after making them dig their own grave and beating the shit out of them in the process. However, he does so because the other man molested and murdered Gage's young son. I figured almost everyone would have sympathy/empathy for this man. But my main issue is how soon to reveal the reason why Gage kills the other man. If I do it quickly the reader will have an early reason to sympathize with Gage, but I might get more milage and create more tension if I withhold Gage's reasons for a while. However, I don't want to push the reader too far and risk producing a negative first impression that the reader can't dispel later. I'll prbably write it a couple of different ways in draft form and then make a decision.

Sympathy for a Killer

It's hard for me to read a novel-length work about a main character that I don't like. I want to root for the main hero/protagonist in a book. I want to feel that I'm on the side of right against the side of wrong.

I also find it hard to write a protagonist who I don't like. (C. S. Harris said much the same thing on her blog recently.) Why is this a problem? Because I know that first impressions are as big in novels as they are in real life, and I worry that the protagonist in a piece I'm working on now will make a bad first impression. I like him myself, but I wonder if a reader, not knowing him as I do, would toss the book aside before giving him a chance. You see, he murders someone in the first few pages of the book. He murders them brutally after making them dig their own grave.

I wonder, could you read on about such a character? If so, what would it take to keep you reading? What would it take to make you forgive such a murder? Could you forgive it?