Thursday, December 20, 2012

Little Known Facts

It seems lately that every time a tragedy occurs in the US, some people want to blame it on the most ridiculous causes -- Gay Marriage, Lack of Prayer in Schools, Obama's reelection, Women moving into Non-traditional roles, etc etc. My thoughts are that many of these people don't really believe what they are saying.  No, I believe that many of them are simply manipulating those that they see as their followers, and that's a pretty nasty thing to do. It's particularly nasty in the religious sense to me because, if it's true that God would let children die just because there is no prayer in schools, then that makes God out to be a vicious, petty thug. I'm not comfortable with that.

The truth is that natural disasters have been happening a long time in human history, and before human history.  The truth is that human beings have been killing each other in large numbers for a long time. If we are going to find answers to these problems, ways to mitigate natural disasters and to minimize humankind's more vicious tendencies, we have to give thought to real causes and potentially real solutions, not to distractions. Those who are throwing up these distractions at us are definitely part of the problem and not the solution.

I don't even know if its appropriate given all the crap we've heard lately, but sometimes a good way of calling attention to those who are adding to the problem is with humor. I hope you take what follows in that vein.


In 1883, the volcanic island of Krakatoa erupted, producing the loudest sound ever heard in the modern world. Over 36,000 people died as a result of the explosion. The cause has since been revealed as Gay Marriage!

Around 450 or so AD, Attila the Hun repeatedly attacked Europe, slaughtering thousands. It is said that Atilla constructed pyramids from the skulls of his victims. Only recently has it come to light that it was, in fact, Gay Marriage, that gave rise to Attila.

In about 72 AD, the Roman Coliseum was built. It was used for the execution of Christians among other things.  But do you know why the emperor Vespasian began construction of the Coliseum? You guessed it: Gay Marriage!

65 Million years ago, an asteroid (or two) slammed into the earth.  The dinosaurs went extinct. The fossil evidence is scanty but many suspect the impact was a result of Gay Marriage among the T-Rexes of the age.

GAY MARRIAGE – Triggering horrific acts of violence since before there were even people!



Ty said...

Charles, you forgot about the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD, killing thousands in Pompeii and elsewhere along the Italian coast. However, contrary to popular belief, it was not the Christian God who was responsible for that one. No, no. It was Jupiter. Apparently two girls accidentally touched hands on the island of Lesbos, and then all hell broke loose. Go figure.

Charles Gramlich said...

Ty, I didn't know about that one but you are absolutely correct. I checked it out. It'll have to go with the next list.

Adventuresfantastic said...

So what caused the last Ice Age?

Ty said...

Mastadons and saber-tooth tigers sleeping together.

Deka Black said...

And the rise of gas prices!

Charles Gramlich said...

Keith, what Ty said.

Ty, exactly.

Deka, indeed!

G. B. Miller said...

Maybe it's the lack of truly good books out there.

After all, some of those pop culture best selllers make people here scratch their heads.



Ummm...kind of lost for words here. Had a thought, but it left me behind at the station.

Riot Kitty said...

Thank you, I totally needed that laugh! And I am going to use that "if so, God is a thug" argument with the nuts I run into.

pattinase (abbott) said...

These people turn up on blogs and spew their venom too. I think they do a google search for a topic--in this case the name of the town--and go on the blogs and spew. We are living in strange times. Never before has it been so easy to spout hate speech.

Cloudia said...

facts don't lie - people do;

Aloha from Waikiki, my Friend
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < } } ( ° >

SQT said...

Lol! For the life of me I can't figure out why gay monogamy gets people so riled up.

Charles Gramlich said...

G. B., you can never let a thought escape. That's why I tie mine up as soon as I get them. I then lock them in cages and beat them regularly to maintain discipline.

Riot Kitty, the nasty things people believe of God never cease to amaze me.

Patti, that's for sure. And, unfortunately, speech is not very closely related to thought for many people.

Cloudia, yep.

SQT, I know. I simply can't understand why anyone other than two gay folks who wanted to get married could care.

laughingwolf said...

also, not too far in our immediate past, it was women, not wearing their brassieres, who caused all those fatal earthquakes!

the walking man said...

And all this time, 65 million years, I have been blaming myself because I refuse to cut my hair or rim my beard. According to the Old Lady my refusal is to torture her with my shedding hair she keeps coming across. I am glad that it's not my fault though. I know it's not the gays but as long as it's not mine I can finally be relieved of that what do I do about my love for pancakes?

jodi said...

Charles, don't you just hate this crap? People are nuts, I swear!

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Charles, this sort of thing is catching on in India too, thanks to a hyperventilating electronic media. I think a lot of people out there have a lot of idle time on their hands. Not to mention getting weirder as time passes. Those little known facts...I really enjoyed them.

Charles Gramlich said...

Laughingwolf,they call that sympathetic magic. :)

Mark, you are absolved, my friend. I don't know about the pancakes. Eat them until you are sick. that might help.

Jodi, completely and totally nuts indeed.

Prashant, I suspect the media feeding into it helps. And every loco who wants to can get on the news spouting this kind of nonsense.

ivan said...

This obsession over gay marriage.

One day a kid will say, "The emperor is in drag!"

Golden Eagle said...

Gosh. All the terrible events of history make so much more sense with that explanation.

Oscar Case said...

Sheesh! I never understood why all this crap was going on, now I do! Thanks, Charles, and have a Merry Christmas!

Charles Gramlich said...

Ivan, it already happened in Caligula's time, I believe. :)

Golden Eagle, a unifying theme at last.

Oscar, :) You too, man.

Travis Cody said...

And now the official NRA response to the tragedy in Newtown is to arm teachers in elementary schools and add armed guards. I find that as comical as the Gay Marriage cause of natural disasters.

Charles Gramlich said...

Travis Cody, most people, even when trained, have problems handling firearms safely in an emergency. I agree with you that armed teachers could be a dangerous situation for sure.

jodi said...

Charles, I love it! I was the 'best woman' in my best friends (gay) wedding and have lived to tell the tale!

Charles Gramlich said...

Jodi, glad you enjoyed!

Jessica Ferguson said...

People scare me. And make me sad. Thanks for the laugh.

And Ivan, I thought they were already saying that.

Leigh Russell said...

Sending you Seasons Greetings and wishing you and your family a peaceful, happy and healthy 2013 x

X. Dell said...

I would say a rousing "Amen." But I fear that someone is going to Google in off the streets, see the part about Gay Marriage, not read the part before that....and take the latter part of this post as the gospel truth.

A couple of grad students at BJU might even cite it in their theses.

Charles Gramlich said...

Jess, me too.

Leigh, thanks, and I hope you and your family have a great 2013 as well.

X. Dell, oh well, another citation to count toward my accomplishments. :)

Lisa said...

As far as I know, there is no gay marriage until this century. I could be wrong but that is what I've figured.

Vesper said...

I guess such is human nature... find somebody to blame even when (or especially when) we are the only ones to blame...

I hope your Holidays are very happy and I wish you all the best, to you and your loved ones!

Erik Donald France said...

Right on, man ~ and a Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays ~ cheers ~ peace ~ & to less viciousness all around ~!

Greg said...

Great post! The stupidity of people never ceases to amaze. Merry Christmas!

SzélsőFa said...

i knew some facts about our great ancestor, Attila.
but now i know all he did he did for (or against?) gay marriage.
thanks for the explanation. :) :) :)

and you are right: our world is filled with manipulators. some aim for the better, some for the worse. one has to be informed to judge and not to judge and to differentiate between the two.

ivan said...

Hm. (Chuckle).

Atilla the Hun. Wasn't he a bit right of old Barry Goldwater?
But no.

(To stick with the thread),
"Let's kill all the women and rape all the men! :)

Charles Gramlich said...

Lisa, I bet there has been been unions in the past between gay couples. I don't know for sure. this post is of course a joke about how people seem to blame gay marriage for everything.

Vesper, indeed. Humans always want a scapegoat.

Erik, it would be nice to see a decrease in viciousness.

Greg, absolutely!

Szelsofa, yes, it's so difficult to tell.

Ivan, egads. That doesn't sound quite right.