Friday, July 22, 2011

Hell West

My dream last night began with a college age man sitting in a class for would-be teachers. The students are practice teaching and one young woman first has cake served to the class. Our young man, I’ll call him “hero,” gets a piece of white wedding cake. Class then ends and hero leaves with two female friends, a blonde and a brunette. He is dating the blonde but runs into a female teacher who whispers to him that he should really date the brunette, who is smarter and nicer.

Hero has to go to the bathroom and this is where the weird stuff starts. While in the bathroom, he gets a feeling that something isn’t right. About that time, a dwarf comes in and locks himself in a stall. Then a bag lady he saw outside also wanders in. She starts to flirt and tries to grope him, and he quickly leaves without managing to consummate his bathroom experience.

He goes around the back of the building to urinate but runs into two security guards. He and his two lady friends are then standing next to a railroad car on display behind the building when the sunny sky darkens and a kind of ‘shield’ snaps into place between the three and the outside world. A monstrous shadow starts to rise out of the railroad car, and the two security guards open fire on it. A massive arm with a single huge claw on the end smashes out of the car and crushes the guards. The blonde is also killed and our hero knocked unconscious.

Here it gets really weird, and funny. Our hero wakes up in Hell “West.” Satan has had to abandon the real hell but has set up a little touch of home right on the college campus. He's brought his family with him, 1) a mentally challenged 20 something son who wears a batman mask and cape, 2) a son of about 8 who never says a word, and 3) two twin teenage daughters, one with long and the other with bobbed hair. Hero is being kept because his blood is especially nutritious to the hell-borne. He is told that his brunette friend is alive but being held prisoner to keep him in line.

The long-haired daughter seems the most normal of the family and hero talks a bit to her. She protects him from her short-haired sister who wants to hammer nails into him, and this makes him feel like his best chance of escape is to befriend her. That seems to be working. When the bat masked son wants a snack, the long-haired twin is the one to “bleed” hero into a chalice, but he realizes she's doing it because her sister would hurt him much worse.

Then, Satan offers hero a bet. If he can beat the devil and his family in baseball, they’ll let him go. The young man agrees. The “baseball” is really a hacky-sack, and the bat is a fat red plastic kid’s bat (like my son had). Satan is up first and hero is pitching. Satan gets a hit and his youngest son runs for him. The kid gets on base, but then tries to steal another base and hero tags him out.

The devil fouls the next pitch into the bushes. While hero fetches the ball, the devil brings another player in on his side, a woman who is completely burned black and who stands between our hero and the batter’s box. (Satan refers to the damned as the “Burned ones.”) As our hero pitches, she tries to knock the ball away, and if she succeeds it is called a foul.

Unfortunately, I woke up before the game could finish so I don’t know if our hero escaped. I’m thinking his chances aren’t too good. What do you think?
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39 comments:

Sphinx Ink said...

Wow, I'm impressed you can remember so much of the dream in detail. I rarely remember any of my dreams. If I do remember anything, it's just a bit or piece. I never remember the whole thing.

What do you think it means? Or do you not analyze the dreams, but only use images from them in future stories?

Deka Black said...

I think the devil almost win the game. because a bunch of teen nuns who are in fact a special ops team from the vatican, starts cheering the hero and giving him the power of the Holy Bat once used by jesus himself in a match with teddy Rosselvelt.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I am impressed with how much detail you remember too. I usually have only the barest fragments of my dreams. I wonder if your training in psychology makes you a better reporter.

Greg Schwartz said...

that is one of the coolest dreams i've ever heard. the batman mask and cape made me laugh.

Carole said...

I think Hero will escape, but not through winning the baseball game, although he will win. Satan is notorious about lying and Hero's blood is too good to lose.

What Satan is short on is brains and Hero will outsmart him. But not before he relieves himself.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

What did you eat before going to bed?

Christina said...

Ah! This is the cool dream you mentioned on Facebook. I really like this.

Cake in the classroom sounds great.

X. Dell said...

I'm thinking that's a rigged game if I ever saw one.

I'm also thinking that you might want to take more care in what you eat before you go to bed.

Charles Gramlich said...

Sphinx Ink, I don't always remember that much detail but when I do it is nice. Once I start writing a dream down, more details usually occur to me. I don't typically analyze dreams. I see several elements in there from a video game I've been playing, and some other stuff from movies.

Deka, wow, that's a pretty cool idea. you should write that one up, man.

Patti, the psychology training doesn't have anything to do with it. I've always remembered at least some dreams in this much detail, ever since I was a little kid.

Greg, I know, it was just hilarious. I did watch some stuff about Batman recently and read a batman graphic novel, so I'm sure that's where it came from.

Carole, yeah, hero must really need to pee by now. :)

Alex, my own recipe for goulash before this dream. Maybe that's the secret.

Christina, the cake was delicious. Yeah, this is the one I mentioned on FB.

X-dell, if it was food related I'd probably eat that food every night just so I'd have more crazy dreams.

Chris said...

Heh, I was going to ask the same question Alex did.

Deka Black said...

Maybe i do, charles, maybe i do ;) In some webcomics from Spain a running gag are Sniper nuns and vatican ninjas.

Charles Gramlich said...

Chris, nothing unusual really. I've just gone of those insane brains.

Deka, dude, makes me wish I could read Spanish.

BernardL said...

Repeat after me... no anchovies. :)

Oscar said...

I would lay off the absinthe for awhile, Charles. You have plots all through the dream, now it's time to put them on paper.

David J. West said...

That's some great bizarre inspiration for ya.

Donnetta Lee said...

Hi, Charles: I think you dream about like I do! I also posted about a dream--a 55er. Been having a bit of a rough time and haven't posted anything for months. Trying to get back in the swing of writing. Hope you and Lana are well. D

Charles Gramlich said...

Bernardl, but I actually like anchovies pretty well.

Oscar, You know, I've never had absinthe. I should try it sometime.

David J., twas fun anyway.

donnetta, I'm glad to see you again. Sorry things have not been going well. I'll drop by of course

David Cranmer said...

It would be great if you could release a collection of your dreams. And somehow tie them all together with a narrative.

Charles Gramlich said...

David Cranmer, there's an idea, man. I may have to consider that. :)

ivan said...

This is excellent.

A damn well-written rendering of the dream

It is also excellent because we can all relate...In real life, for example, I am exactly in that same kind of Hobson's Choice even though a somewhat spunky seventy-year old.
Old Jimmie Rogers son, "I love two women and I love them both the same."
How come, suddenly, these entanglements?
It must be because I have just had a positive review of my novel, The Fire in Bradford, out of --you Guessed it!--Bradford Ontario, where he novel is set.
Why are women suddenly on the phone?
Oh, like a Wine Stoned Cowboy.
But I must remember, it's only Bradford Ontario.
Nevertheless, after a dry critical spell of eight years, I am tickled to have anybody write anything at all about old Ivan...In fact, I had in the past asked reviewers to attack me, personally and viciously, just fer to get the exposure...But the Bradford lady editor was kind.
Oh like a Wine Stoned Cowboy!

Guess there's no fool like an old fool. Especially a writin' fool.

Take care.

eric1313 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eric1313 said...

That was quite strange!

Sometimes I have very vivid dreams that after I wake up it takes a few hours to feel "right" again.

One thing about sobriety (from mary jane, not drinking, which I only do on gig nights now as well, much to my bands detriment, though they are a bit lushy themselves... OK, sometimes I smoke after a gig too, shhhh) is that I remember my dreams. Not more clearly, not better, just remember them, period. When I was smoking heavily I know I had dreams but nothing of them remained after waking up unless it was the rare nightmare, usually involving being busted.

Ty Johnston said...

Of all that happened, I found the brief mention of the 8 year old who doesn't talk to be the most disturbing. That would creep me out.

Not sure how to end it, but I think there'd be an excellent story here, almost a sword-in-planet tale but instead of the hero waking up on Mars (or Talera or wherever), he wakes up in hell.

Deka Black said...

Thanks Charles ^^ basically, you could imagine a ninja dressed all in white and using hats like the one used by the Pope, with golden katanas.

Charles Gramlich said...

Ivan, Wine stoned cowboy is a great title for a story, Man. You have to use it.

Eric1313, I used to get really vivid dreams teh morning after drinking, but I don't drink much anymore so that effect doesn't happen.

Ty, yeah, the silent child was pretty disturbing, although most disturbing to me was the short haired twin who liked to hammer nails in stuff all the time.

Deka, a pope hat is kinda cool.!

cs harris said...

I am so glad I don't have your dreams, Charles. But I do wish I could remember my dreams with such clarity.

Charles Gramlich said...

Candy, On a dream like this, I do often get more details coming back to me as I write the dream down. And sometimes even later in the day when I'm telling Lana about it.

laughingwolf said...

think i'd like a glass of whatever you've been drinking! ;)

laughingwolf said...

the gsd pup i was to bring home was a bit hyper, so owner will drop him off tomorrow morn... he's black and red, 9-mo-old, and already 60-65 lb... naming him 'victor', after my dad.. very 'home' protective, not aggressive if you're not... gentle in taking treats from your hand....

Charles Gramlich said...

Laughingwolf, congrats on the new pup. Sounds like he's a good un.

Cloudia said...

What an imagination/subconscious!

Do you have any desire to go to Comicon?

Aloha from Waikiki;


Comfort Spiral

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Barrie said...

You have the most intereting dreams! Re the ending of this one: I'm not ready to give up on Hero. Things can turn on a dime...especially in Dreamland! :)

Charles Gramlich said...

Cloudia, I've been to one comiccon, locally, and loved it. I would love to go to a really huge one.

Barrie, I'm hoping for Hero too.

Lana Gramlich said...

We brunettes are always smarter and nicer. *preen*

Charles Gramlich said...

Lana, dats you.

Steve Malley said...

Your dreams are so damn cool...

Erik Donald France said...

Love it~! As a Catholic convert, I especially love the intricacies and issue raised. And the Devil's family, for that matter . . .

Mary Witzl said...

Bloody hell, Charles, that is one great dream, and I too am impressed that you can remember all that detail. I have had long, detailed dreams myself and I'm always amazed by them when I wake up. But I've never done such a good job of writing mine down. Reading yours has inspired me to give it another go.

Charles Gramlich said...

Steve Malley, I do enjoy my dreams.

Erik, the devil's family was just hilarious on so many levels.

Mary Witzl, I think it's best to start writing as soon as you get up, before details start to slip too far away.