Wednesday, July 18, 2007

By way of Introduction

It’s already bone hot in the dawn, the white sun bruising down through a haze of alkali dust that sifts out of the desert air. Kainja sits astride his stallion, Skaal, gazing out at the vast rock and sand plain that lies before him. Dust coats his leathers, turns his scars pale. Only his yellow eyes give a hint of color, and it is a cold color. He thinks, briefly, of a silver pool in a courtyard where children play. He thinks of laughter that tinkles. Then he shakes the thoughts away, knowing that he no longer deserves those memories, and he urges Skaal forward into the vastness, into the Thorn Desert, which no one has lived to cross before.

10 comments:

Shauna Roberts said...

I'd keep reading.

Bernita said...

Oh yes!
"tinkles" bothers me though..probably just personal.
I suppose you mean to infer a fountain, would "ripples" more imply the "pool"?

William Jones said...

Good passage!

I agree with Bernita, the word "tinkles" calls my attention to it -- particularly as it seems to be part of the protagonist's thoughts. When I read it, I wondered would "tinkles" be the word/sound that this character thought?

The desert makes a nice contract against the character, as well. This leads me back to "tinkles." :)

Charles Gramlich said...

Bernita, William. Hmmn, "tinkles." I'll have to give it some thought. I hadn't even considered the "other" meaning of tinkles. Thought of it more like ice in a glass. Good catch.

William, thanks for stopping by. I mean to get High Seas Cthulhu as soon as I put my next Amazon order in.

Shauna, thanks. Who knows if this is going anywhere.

Erik Donald France said...

Love it! Independently of Bernita and Mr. Jones, I also cringe at "tinkles" as a word, b/c/ of its child-slang connotations.

Love the passage in total, though.

Avery DeBow said...

I like how you mention dust covering his scars. Makes me wonder how he got them, and when. If the dust makes them pale, then they must be livid, which suggests fresher wounds (in more ways than one).

I'm intrigued.

Sphinx Ink said...

Love that colorful and sensual prose, Charles. I'd definitely keep reading.

Steve Malley said...

Love these passages. Your descriptions are always so vivid, we just know it's like it's really happen in your head...

Lana said...

Kainja is a cutie pie, scars and all. :)




(Yeah, okay...so I've got it bad...You got a problem with that???)

Danny Tagalog said...

I'd keep reading too and wonder what secrets are contained within Thorn Desert...