Sunday, November 16, 2014

Naivety, Part One

I was something of a naïve child, a trait that my older brothers often exploited mercilessly. Take Paul David, for example. He once taught me to juggle, which I at first took to be quite a wonderful thing. Little did I realize that it was only a prelude to a prank.
Paul David taught me to juggle using tennis balls, and I got quite good at it, although I could never do more than three at a time. One day, my brother asked me to demonstrate my skills and I proudly displayed them using our well worn set of tennis balls.
“Hmph,” he muttered.
“What?” I demanded.
“Tennis balls are easy,” he replied.
“I can juggle three acorns,” I said. “Or three rocks.”
“Sure.  But….”
“But what?”
“Come with me.”
I dutifully followed my brother into the kitchen where he opened the icebox and took out three eggs. He offered them to me.
“Juggle these,” he said.
I took the eggs. They were cool and smooth to the touch, and smaller than the tennis balls. Of course, the eggs would break if I dropped them and the balls wouldn’t. But I figured it couldn’t be that much different and I had lots of experience.
“All right,” I said, and started to walk past him into the back yard.
“No, no,” he said. “Do it here.”
Irritated, I decided that I would just show him. I tossed the first egg up, prepared the second, panicked at the thought of dropping them, and as quickly as that two eggs went splat on the kitchen floor.
Paul David laughed and laughed.

I got to clean up the yolk.


Ron Scheer said...

There's a sidewalk entertainer at Venice Beach who juggles with chain saws. Draws quite a crowd.

Travis Erwin said...

I have tried to learn but I never could get even get started. Not coordinated enough I reckon.

Charles Gramlich said...

Ron, ha, easier than eggs on a kitchen floor. :)

Travis Erwin, I'll have to see if I can still do it.

pattinase (abbott) said...

My husband tells me that he has played the same jokes on me for 40 years. I never catch on-not being the joke-playing sort.

jodi said...

Charles-I would have pelted him with the third egg and then the yolk would have been on him!

Cloudia said...

Seems the yolk was on you, C

ALOHA from Honolulu
=^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

sage said...

The other night, a carton of eggs slipped out of my hand and with the tile floor, they all broke. It was a mess. And I wasn't even trying to do a trick with them.

BernardL said...

It is strange the scope of what older brothers can come up with to mess with younger siblings.

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Charles, I crack or drop eggs with unerring regularity and I don't even have much of a grip which means I'm just clumsy. I was never good at juggling but I admire those who can.

David Cranmer said...

When I was younger someone convinced me to do a magic trick where the end result was I unknowingly marked my face with pencil lead. (<just realized how strange that sounds.) But, yeah, I know naivety.

the walking man said...

Too bad he was your older brother, something about older brothers are unconquerable. Until of course you outweigh them by 75 pounds and grow 5 inches taller than them. Then it becomes a fair fight for regained dignity lost in all the years of torture.

Charles Gramlich said...

Patti, I never really played pranks either. Not the sort myself.

Jodi, I should have

Cloudia, indeed. Plenty of it.

Sage, I can imagine the mess.

Bernard, yes, they quite love it.

Prashant, Only 3. That's all I can juggle. I admire those who can juggle six or more things.

David, I guess most of us have fallen for these at some point.

Mark, I learned to play chess better than any of them and used that to crush their egos. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That was a mean trick! Did you ever practice with boiled eggs?

Oscar Case said...

Older brothers are a pain in the butt!

Charles Gramlich said...

Alex, no, I never thought of it. I should have.

Oscar, yes they are. :)

Aimlesswriter said...

I had two brothers...they tortured the heck out of me. lol
Now I don't trust anyone!

Vesper said...

LOL, Charles! Making fun of you is one thing big brothers are good for... Wish I had one... :-)

Charles Gramlich said...

Aimless, that is wise!

Vesper, I guess we miss what we don't have. :)

Angie said...

Yet another reason I've always been happy to be the oldest kid in the family. :P


Charles Gramlich said...

Angie, so that means you are the one who played the pranks? :)

Riot Kitty said...

HAHA! You're very brave, actually. I think I would have just thrown the eggs in his face.

Angie said...

Charles -- heh. I wasn't much of a pranker, actually. I wasn't always the nicest big sister, but pranks really weren't my thing, for whatever it's worth. :)


the walking man said...

Detroit is not really a chess playing type of place

Charles Gramlich said...

Riot Kitty, I don't think fast enough.

Angie, I wasn't either. I had younger nephews and played one or two pranks on them but nothing consistent.

Mark, I would suspect as much.