Sunday, November 25, 2012

Graham Charleston, Newest Report!


This just in!  Charles Allen Gramlich is this century’s Nostradamus. Local pseudoscientist, Les Ramli, has spent the entire past decade examining the epigraphs that Gramlich used to open the chapters in his first novel, Cold in the Light. Ramli presented convincing proof to this reporter that the epigraphs have been predicting important world events since the book’s publication in 2002.  

Consider the following: “The hair stood up on their bodies when they saw the ruins. It must have been the roar of winds through the white canyons of stone, or the cold stroke of ancestral memory.  Maybe it was just the dead passing by with empty eyes.”

Ramli says that this epigraph successfully predicted the rise of the highly popular TV show, “The Walking Dead,” as well as the entire zombie apocalypse fascination that is currently sweeping our country.” How stupid of me not to have figured that out for myself, I thought after hearing Ramli’s comment.  Other epigraphs in the book successfully predicted that Curiosity would find shiny things on Mars,  that the 2012 presidential election would be won by either a Republican or a Democrat, and the 115 pound pumpkin that local farmer Chas Springs grew this very October.  

Learn your future and the future of your world. Buy and read Cold in the Light today!

--Graham Charleston reporting, for the Deerhaven Endeavour.



23 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You saw the Walking Dead coming? What show is next?

Deka Black said...

I know! dead tired of walking!

Snowbrush said...

Now that's interesting. I'm referring to the idea of being able to predict the future without ever once being able to predict any event in the future that held the least importance.

Travis Cody said...

Perhaps you can predict the next round of shows to be cancelled so I can avoid the frustration of getting caught up in them, only to have them gone before revealing the climax of the background story.

Charles Gramlich said...

Alex, I fear it is not so easy to call it up consciously. I must prepare carefully to write my epigraphs in a moment of oneness with the secondary world. :)

Deka, I'm feeling dead tired myself at the moment, which is strange considering I'm coming off vacation.

Snowbrush, the 115 pound pumpkin was perhaps of incredible importance. you have heard of the butterfly effect? Well this is the Pumpkin effect.

Travis Cody, I shall endeveour to do so, although it most likely will require a bribe of some type, such as beer. :)

Cloudia said...

marching!


Have a Sweet Week -
Warm Aloha to YOU
from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

~ > < } } ( ° >

> < 3 3 3 ( ' >

ivan said...

I am certainly dating myself, but this does bring to mind a popular song of l962.

"It was the Monster Mash
It was a graveyard smash
The Monster Mash...

sharon cullen said...

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Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Good one, Charles! The epigraph alluding to "The Walking Dead" was cool. I like an epigraph or two in my writing and they are usually borrowed. Writing your own requires some thinking.

Lisa said...

I'm loving Graham Charleston! :)

the walking man said...

OMG! Dude now I am going to have to go back and try to decipher all the coding!

Charles Gramlich said...

Cloudia, indeed.

Ivan, dating me too. I like that song.

Prashant, they were a lot of fun. I did them over a pretty long time.

Lisa, interesting guy. I've met him, btw. :)

Mark, if anyone could do it, you could.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Very clever, Charles. I need to know when the market is going to slump again. Let me know.

Bernard Lee DeLeo said...

Thank you, Graham Charleston! I agree completely. COLD IN THE LIGHT was indeed a milestone and harbinger of the zombie apocalypse. Good read!

Charles Gramlich said...

Patti, I'll be sure and let you know. For a price, of course. :)

Bernard, thanks, man.

G. B. Miller said...

Hey Charles!

Just wanted stop by and apologize, as I had a severe brain cramp and accidently deleted your wonderful comment on my blog post today.

However, I did make a good attmept at answering it, because I had so thoroughly enjoyed everyone's answer I managed to memorize the basic outline of everyone's comment while I was reading.

Also, apologies for the slight interruption in your comment thread.

laughingwolf said...

again, no SEX in them thar epigraphs... pity! ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdRI2Y8fGcI

Charles Gramlich said...

G. B., no problem, man. Tis all good.

laughingwolf, I'll have to add that next time just for you. :)

laughingwolf said...

thank you... in advance ;)

sage said...

The great thing about your self-promotions is the humor! Thanks for the laugh.

Chris Benjamin said...

That is a unique pitch indeed. And highly convincing.

Charles Gramlich said...

Laughingwolf, certainly.

Sage, figured no one would read them without it.

Chris, I see my nefarious scheme is working then. :)

RightShopping.in said...
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