Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Things I Don’t Care About:

I was talking to my class this morning about how research shows that young organisms are much more likely to imitate behavior they observe than older animals are. This is true, as well, of humans. It made me wonder if my recent irritation with the “news” has to do with the fact that I’m getting older. But here are just a few things that have been big in the news recently that I-—pardon my French-—don’t give a shit about.

1. I don’t give a shit about how many women Tiger Woods has slept with, or whether he will play well in his current golf tournament considering how distracted he must be by all the media attention.

2. I don’t give a shit that Oprah apparently slept with John Tesh many years ago. I don’t even give a shit that there’s been an unauthorized biography published about her.

3. I don’t give a shit that Jesse James slept with a tattoo model, or that he has gone into treatment for sex addiction.

4. I don’t give a shit that Randy Quaid is having troubles with the law. Hell, I only remember him from two movies, Christmas Vacation and The Long Riders.

5. I don’t give a shit that Pamela Anderson is having money woes. Rather, I’m sorry for anyone having money woes. I just don’t care that it’s Pamela Anderson rather than Jane Doe.

6. I don’t give a shit about a hundred other stories about celebrities that I haven’t yet been bombarded with but which I’m sure will be the “news” tomorrow.

So what is it that you don't give a shit about?

Way back before all the stuff happened with my mom, back when the story Chimes was first published, I promised to have a drawing in which I’d pick someone to receive a free copy of one of my books if they put up a review of the story or a comment about it. I haven’t forgotten. Right now, it appears that the following folk’s names are going into the hat: Rick, Kate S., Randy, Gary at Tainted Archive, Mark, and Clare2e. Thanks very much to them!

However, there were quite a few days when I didn't check the blogosphere so did I miss anyone? If so, let me know, and I will add your name. I'll do the drawing next week some time.


David Cranmer said...

Your list is my list. Honest to goodness, I wish what passed for news would go away.

Cloudia said...

I'd like to be in the drawing, though I feel guilty for not having read any of your books before now...

As David says above: "Your list is my list."

Bread & Circuses while Rome burns...or something like that.
When will we care about what matters, like all the normal folks with money problems, as you say? On that day we start to repair things...

(Do try to visit my psychology-based post tomorrow if you can, Dr. Charles.)

Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

Charles! Ha! Sometimes you say things that are uncannily similar to something I recently said. I had this same conversation about how I couldn't understand the fuss about Tiger Woods. Was I seriously the only one that didn't give a shit? Nice to know I'm not alone!

To be honest, I don't give a shit about most of the people that are in US weekly, People magazine, Star, Enquirer, etc.

I give a shit about real world problems not individual ones that really nobody's business but their own.

sage said...

Amen, I get so tired of the faux-news we have to put up with (and it's not just Fox News that I'm speaking of). Who cares, does any of this really matter to our lives?

Evan Lewis said...

Jeez, I hadn't heard the one about Oprah and Tesh (not that I care). Good list. I assume Jon and Kate (especially Kate, of late) are included in #6.

Paul R. McNamee said...

Good list.

I have the Google desktop sidebar at work. I forget which non-news story it was last week, but I literally saw it spread like a virus from one news agency to the next. It started at the bottom ('Us' maybe?) and by the end of the day made it to something legitimate (maybe 'TIME'.)

Not so legitimate after all.

Your list really hits the spot!

Rick said...

I'd swear you and David copied my list. And thanks for putting my name in the hat. I can't think of anything I'd rather read in the next couple of weeks than one of your books.

SQT said...

I lived in Hollywood about 15 years ago. Even worked at a Hollywood studio. And I couldn't understand why people are celebrity obsessed. I don't have a single autograph or celebrity photo despite working there. They were just people to me-- people I didn't know. But the people I worked with behaved like stalkers. It's no wonder I didn't stay in the industry for long.

G. B. Miller said...

Your list is basically my list, however, I would like to tack one on that specifically applies to institutions like government (my employer) or colleges/universities (your employer).

I don't give a shit about massaging other people's fragile little egos so that they don't go crying to their superiors saying that this person was mean to them, and they should be disciplined and punished.

(yes, I'm in trouble for doing just that. yesterday)

Harry Markov said...

Basically the same. I don't give a shit about commercials as well. :)

the walking man said...

I don't give a shit about everything on your list. And I am beginning to not give a shit about TeaBaggers and political commentators that try to motivate and move the herd of cattle and sheep, regardless of direction.

I don't give a shit about any corporate whores who will do whatever they are told for fame and fortune. I will never buy product or support them so they become someone elses problem not mine.

I have come to see that there are more important things to give a shit about but finding them is becoming harder and harder to find for all the diversion placed in front of the eyes by the media.

I give a shit about one thing, that I continue to be able to tell myself that the conclusions I have come to whether right or wrong were come to through my own thought process and not because someone else told me to think thus or thus.

laughingwolf said...

'chimes' would be neat to add to my collection of your stuff!

as for your list of don't give a shit about: agreed, totally... who gives a rat's ass about ANY of them?

there's a whole lot more i don't give a shit about, but don't give a shit about listing em all ;)

Lisa said...

I skipped news completely. I wonder if I will really miss anything important but then I know all the news anyway even without reading them.

I can't wait to see your drawing. It will be amazing.

Charles Gramlich said...

David Cranmer, me too.

Cloudia, will do. And agreed.

Ello, exactly. the things that effect multiple people, but not something that affects an individual because they are a celebrity.

Sage, yes, it's everywhere. Not just the lite news channels.

Evan Lewis, indeed. And the fact that Britney Spears released unretouched photos of herself.

Paul R., I'm actually irritated at how these things waste my time, albeit a few seconds it takes to turn the radio station or so on.

Rick, thanks for your review for sure.

SQT, I've even seen it here when a celebrity is in town. I can't even imagine caring.

G., oh handling petty little egos is a chore I don't like in the least.

Harry, unless the commercial is funny, which not many are.

Mark, oh yes, how could I have forgotten to list Teaparty, and Sarah Palin. I know what you mean about arriving at your own conclusions instead of like so many who seem to trumpet whatever is fed to them by the talking heads.

Laughingwolf, yeah, I wasted time listing them, but at least I thought it was funny.

Charles Gramlich said...

Ocean girl, I try once in a while to watch local news but even most of that is just nonsense.

laughingwolf said...

it IS funny! :D

Richard Prosch said...

I'm ignorant of pro sports. I don't know who any current players are, who they play for, or why it's important. It's not that I don't "like" sports, I like baseball, football or basketball --it's just that entire seasons go by and I was busy doing something else.

Randy Johnson said...

I'm with you. The lives of the "beautiful" people bore the shit out of me. I've never understood folks' passion for nosing into other people's business. They'd have a duck if it was them being paraded in front of everyone else.

The only story I had even a modicum of interest in was the one on Ben Roth-whateverthefuckhisnameis. It seems apparent to me that he's a sexual predator with two incidents in a year and someone like that needs to be forcibly retired if they can't get a conviction on him.

Charles Gramlich said...

Laughingwolf, yup.

Richard, I'm pretty much the same way except for football. I do pay attention to that. But I like basketball and baseball well enough, I just never seem to catch the games and don't know anything about the major players.

Randy, Definitely it would appear that Big Ben has an issue. I heard something about the event but didn't get the details really. If someone is a danger to others then that is definitely important, which is why I've followed some of the problems that have cropped up with the Catholic church and pedophiles recently.

Angie said...

We seem to not give a shit about pretty much the same things. There are a few actors I particularly like and I'm occasionally interested in news about them, although not enough to go looking for it. But the other 99% of celebrity whatevers I don't care about. It's kind of annoying how often real news is pushed aside for this sort of thing.

I also don't give a shit about people who claim they're trying to help me when it's clear they're helping themselves. Whether it's a marketer trying to sell me something, or a religious person trying to "save" me, or whoever else trying to score their own money, brownie points or ego strokes by using me somehow, I don't give a shit about what they have to say.


BernardL said...

LMAO! Very good list.

nephite blood spartan heart said...

Absolutely agree that I don't give a shit about any of those.

Sorry I have meant to get to Chimes but was inundated with a slew of historical and fantasy first chapters I agreed to help judge for an upcoming conference and lost a lot of precious enjoyable reading time to pick baubles out of a massive slush pile.

I may not make your deadline but I do still intend to get Chimes and talk about it.

Travis Cody said...

I'll say ditto to your list.

Lana Gramlich said...


I do care about "Chimes," though. Still need that hard copy when you get a chance.

Charles Gramlich said...

Angie, agreed, I only give a shit when such folks are trying to usurp my time, not what they are trying to do for themselves at my expense. SOme of the celebrities I probably do pay attention to might be Clint Eastwood, although, like you say, not enough to go looking for info.

BernardL, It probably could have been longer if I'd given a shit. :)

David J. West, well I hope you enjoy when you do get it.

Travis, I thought you might. ;)

Lana Gramlich, I don't either. I completely forgot you wanted a copy of Chimes. I'll try to remember this evening.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I didn't give a shit about Paris Hilton and she seems to have disappeared. These too shall pass.

Bernita said...

Me too. I don't give a shit about celebrities or Sarah Palin...

L.A. Mitchell said...

You forgot Kate Gosselin. And her hair.

Steve Malley said...

Your picks, certainly. Also:

Tom Cruise
Katie Price/Jordan
Celebutards in general
Sarah Palin in particular
Daughter Palin
"First Dude" Palin
Glen Beck
That grinning psychopath Dr Phil
Conan, Dave or any late night talk show host
What anyone famous eats, buys or wears
Sarah Palin

jodi said...

Oh Lord, Charles, I too, could care less. Who's getting thier photos retouched and how much weight they have lost--I may add to the list!

Charles Gramlich said...

pattinase, yes, I know. We haven't heard much about Paris in a while. thank goodness for small favors.

Bernita, actually I guess I'm pretty irritated by Palin. I wish she'd go away.

L.A. Mitchell, is that from John and Kate? I didn't know her last name. But definitely they are included.

Steve Malley, exactly, what anyone famous buys, wears or eats. Geeze who cares. And I don't watch the talk shows either.

jodi,there's plenty to add I should think.

Erik Donald France said...

The interesting thing is that even though neither you (nor I) give a shit about these stories, we know a lot about them through basic social osmosis. Sports are like that, too -- I can BS with just about anyone over sports just long enough to change the subject or escape! Interesting. Things have probably always been like that.

ivan said...

How about a moratorium on all health news?

We've never been healthier, but the docs keep telling us we're all sick, sick, sic.

ivan said...

Ereka Department.

I go to Hamilton, Ontario to visit my old mother, and who should be out on King Street in a limo and an entourage? Sarah Palin. She has been much mentioned of late in the Toronto area.
Well, she is news, sort of.
But verging on Spam.

Anne Vis said...

Interesting post. The older the weirder they say, so maybe that explains ... Though I think you may also need to change the source from which you get your news ... ? :-)

Greg said...

Amen! Every day what passes for news seems to get more trivial. Reporters spend less than a minute on that earthquake in China but devote whole segements (often including interviews) to celebrity sex lives or Hollywood scandals. When I'm struggling to pay my bills, I don't give a shit about the problems that millionaires and multi-millionaires are supposedly having.

Charles Gramlich said...

Erik, it's impossible to escape these sorts of things. They just smother us.

ivan, that's part of the thing too. The media keeps feeding us fear fear fear.

Anne Vis, this is the kind of stuff that just impinges on me. Not the news sources I to seeking out.

Greg Schwartz, indeed. And I just love how they cut away from the real news to the fluff so often.

AvDB said...

I don't care about reality TV, about women who have more children than sense, or anything any celebrity does while not engaged in their occupation. I don't care about how "green" the government or my neighbors think I am or am not being. I don't care about trendy little bracelets, regardless of what awareness the wearer thinks they're raising. I don't care about divas or fashion, or that everyone's horrified some rock freak scribbled on a whatever-thousand-dollar handbag.

Oh, and I don't care what Oprah and her squad of zombified harpies want me to read.

Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Charles,

This cracked me up! I had to laugh out loud -- seriously, Oprah and John Tesh? If this is the hottest scoop the bio has, it's not a lot. I'm only interested in these stories so far as how the media covers them and what it says about us as a culture. Seriously, I'm not even interested in who most of my friends are sleeping with much less anyone else . . .

Charles Gramlich said...

Michelle, agreed. The Oprah and John Tesh thing is kind of funny, at least in part because people seem to care so much.

Akasha Savage. said...

I don't give a shit about Katie Price & Alex Reid...or Cheryl & Ashley Cole.....plue everything on your list!!

cs harris said...

I'm with you, Charles. I just don't get the attraction of all this. I try to avoid "celebrities" as much as possible. I didn't know--nor could I care--that Pamela Anderson is having money problems, nor did I know about Oprah, and until his recent indiscretions were plastered everywhere, I didn't have a clue who Jesse James was. Nor did I know who "Jon and Kate" were until their recent spat. My kids tell me I live under a rock.

Mary Witzl said...

Your list is my list too! In fact, I didn't even know that Jesse Jammes was someone contemporary, as in not Frank's brother.

I listen to everyone breathlessly discussing the latest celebrity gossip and I just feel so weird and not with it.

Personally, I don't give a sheet about who Carly Simon thought was so vain or whether or not the queen was involved in Diana's death. But I'm following the situation in Kyrgyzstan and hoping for the best.

X. Dell said...

I'm kinda with you, actually. I'm sick to death of celebrity-driven "news." Unfortunately, you can't get away from it. It's on the newstands when you go to buy a stick of gum. It's on TV as soon as you turn the set on. It's all over talk radio. It even infests such hallowed places as Pacifica and NPR.

I'm wondering if anyone really gives a shit about this.

BTW, I didn't realize that phrase was French.

Donnetta said...

Hi, Charles: Oh, ain't it the truth about these stories! I could care less.

Good luck with the contest. I am still happy with the book you sent me from one of your other contests.

Best to you and Lana! D

Charles Gramlich said...

Akasha Savage, I feel happy that I don't even know who those people are. Yeah!

Candy, I think it's good to live under a rock. You get more real life lived that way.

Mary Witzl, I only knew who Jesse James was because he used to build bikes and I was into that back when I had my own motorcycles.

X. Dell, there are very very few famous people that I care to know much about. I did for a long while keep up with Bobby Fischer a bit. Can't think of anyone else at the moment.

Donnetta Lee, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Charles Gramlich said...

Avery, you're post must have come up at the same time I posted. Somehow I missed it. But yes, I don't care what Oprah thinks I should read.

Anonymous said...

Charles, it had to be said. I know what you mean about being tired of hearing about all this stuff. None of the stuff on your list is important for us to hear about, in the quantity that we are bombarded with.

Although I do like Randy Quaid, I haven't been staying up nights wondering about his troubles. I don't wish him any troubles either. Besides, Randy's staying at my house, but don't tell anyone.

Charles Gramlich said...

Jack, I'll keep the Randy Quaid connection hush hush!

j said...

I don't give a sh*t about who will be the next American Idol.

I don't give a sh*t about the Jennifer Anniston - Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie love triangle that greets me from the magazine rack constantly. SO WHAT?

I don't give a sh*t that Jon Stewart hates conservatives... seriously? DUH.

I do, however, have concerns that I cannot make myself type that one little "i" between the h and the t. * may stand for "needs therapy."

Rachel V. Olivier said...

I don't give a sh*t about any of what you said, plus any reality shows out there. And I really don't give a sh*t about any 3-D anything. If it's not a good story, it doesn't matter how pretty it is.

Danette Haworth said...

Your declarations had me laughing alone in my office. And I repeat the mantra, "Your list is my list."

BTW, do you care that Kate Gosselin changed her hairstyle? I wasn't sure, cuz I didn't see that in your list.