Many of you know that I’m a big fan of Robert E. Howard, who is best known for creating the character of Conan the Cimmerian. Seeing as how work is still kicking my butt much like Conan kicks butt, I thought I’d post a few Conan haiku today. (Using the term haiku very, very loosely.) Eventually, I’ll return to a semblance of normalcy.
Conan walks into a bar. Bar collapses on impact.
Conan is approached by Senator Craig in public restroom. Problem solved.
Conan goes to Hell. They give him Hell.
Conan named Vice President. Stimulus bill passes.
Conan goes to Wall Street. Street name changed to Wasteland.
Conan is thrown from horse. Horse apologizes, then commits hari-kari.
Conan gets drunk. Ale makers have a very good year.
Conan believes the guts of his enemies will sharpen his sword. Conan is right.
Conan is bitten by a poisonous snake. After hours of intense agony, snake dies.
Conan falls onto a bed of nails. Nails now useless.
Conan is downsized. Bad move.
Conan meets Captain Kirk. Kirk must have phaser surgically removed from ass.
Conan meets Captain Picard. Finds that Picard’s bald head adds great shine to boots.
Conan meets Spock. Spock neither prospers, nor lives long.
Conan meets Oprah. No steak available. Conan eats Oprah.
Conan meets Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil tells Conan he has anger issues. Dr. Phil cancelled.
Drunk again, Conan stumbles onto field at Super Bowl. Conan wins.