A Renewal of the Vows: Sort of

Tomorrow marks a twenty year anniversary of sorts for me. On January 1, 1989, I made a vow in the journal I was starting to keep. On that date, I gave myself five years to get published, and I promised myself that I would work on some writing task, no matter how small, each day. That meant I would read a book about writing, or study a grammar guide, or, mostly, that I would just write. And I added a last promise, that if I’d really tried hard for five years and had nothing to show for it, I’d quit writing and not look back. I’m glad I didn’t have to abandon writing. In fact, I sold several things that first year, and quite a bit since, although at times I wonder if it’s gotten any easier.

Several times over those first five years I had to “rededicate” myself to writing. Life does get in the way. I was also establishing my career in those years, and a marriage that ultimately didn’t survive, and I was raising a son. I don’t regret letting those things get in the way of my writing. They had to. No matter how important writing is, life is more important. Other people are more important. Children are the most important. You can’t write without doing some living yourself.

Eventually, it became sort of routine to “renew” my commitment to writing each New Years, even if I’d written a lot and had good success in the previous year. I’ll do it in my journal again tomorrow. I don’t really make resolutions, per se, but I do take stock, and I believe it’s important at least once a year to verbally acknowledge those things that remain important goals in your life.

Looking back now on that original vow, I think the only thing I might change is the time limit I set for myself. I don’t think the time matters because every writer grows and develops in their own way and at their own pace. It only matters how many words you’ve put on the page, and whether you’ve tried each time to make them better, and if you’ve put in the hard work and study that you must do to improve.

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful New Year’s eve and New Year’s Day. As for me, I’m planning on enjoying the three F’s—food, football, and fine reading.
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New Year, Day 2

Sorry I didn't get around to anyone's blog yesterday. I spent most of the day on the couch watching football. Unfortunately, there weren't many good games. Lots of blowouts.

As is my habit these past few years, I got a few items submitted right after midnight on New Year's, including a resubmission of "Love in the Time of Cybersex." I have some poetry I want to resubmit today. I also realized that I forgot to post about the December Illuminata publication. My Writer's Block column last month was on "Emotion and Medium in Writing," in Volume 6, Issue 4, and as always you can download a free copy of the newsletter here.

Now it's off to check folks blogs, but I leave you with some pics that Lana took from our front driveway near midnight on New Year's eve.

Happy New Year!

The Year That Was

2006 was not a good year in most ways. In school, we worked straight through from January until Mid-December with very little break, putting in three full semesters in a period that should have had two. We were understaffed after Hurricane Katrina and everyone taught large classes, with overloads and without release time. Many of our friends had been fired.

In addition, both my son and I had bad wrecks. He totaled his car and I totaled my motorcycle. He broke his hand and I cracked some ribs and broke my shoulder in two places. This was actually the second time Josh broke his hand. The second break required only a cast, but the first time required surgery. The second worst moments of my adult life came when I had to sit in the waiting room while my son was under anesthesia.

Unfortunately, the worst moments in my life occurred a little later in this same year. As far as I knew, Josh was spending a night with a friend when Mary woke me from sleep with a phone call around 3:30 in the morning. The police had called her. Josh’s car had been found on Magazine Street in New Orleans, totaled in a collision with a parked car. Josh was nowhere to be found, although several young men had been seen leaving the scene of the accident. I hope none of you ever have to experience such stark terror, a terror compounded when Josh’s cell phone merely rang and rang and rang without an answer.

Josh was OK, except for the hand and a cut on his forehead, but we didn’t find this out until after noon of that day. It’s cliché, perhaps, but some part of me came very close to dying that day. I’m still not sure it survived; I still wake with my teeth grinding.

Fortunately for my sanity, the end of the year showed quite a bit of improvement. Lana and I moved into a new house, in the country, and even though we had a lot of problems initially with the air conditioning, water heater, wash machine, dishwasher, and a thousand more minor issues, by the end of October we had mostly dealt with the problems and could begin to enjoy a much more relaxed life among the trees and critters. Most importantly, Josh seemed to get his life together toward the end of the year and that has cut my stress level by 200 percent. Finally, we had a decent break over Christmas from school and I’ve gotten some of my energy back by catching up on sleep.

I used to look forward to new years and try to make plans. But experience has taught me that life will give me what it wants anyway and that my plans mean little. All I can do is try to work a little, try to rest a little, and love the ones who love me. That’ll have to do.