THE BOXER
The boxer sits on his stool in the
corner of the ring. He sits hunched over, eyes closed. He can’t hear the crowd,
though they must be near. All that his ears register is the thunder-boom of his
own heart and the rasp in his throat.
The boxer’s arms lie heavy across his
legs, and the legs tremble as if from the weight. He wants the shaking to stop
but the legs are past the point of listening to such commands. He thinks about
water then, and wonders for a moment where his manager is. Those thoughts soon
fade to be replaced by more important ones.
How long until
the bell sounds again?
How long until I have to get up? Again.
It can be only seconds now. The
interlude between rounds isn’t long. It’s never long enough. He wishes the bell
would never sound, that he could sit here until time itself turned to amber around
him. That boon is not to be his.
The bell rings.
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Strong scene - it reminds me of the Simon & Garfunkel song 'The Boxer'. Boxing is one of those realities in sports though where very few reluctantly participate.
ReplyDeleteVery nice opener. Looking forward to see where it goes. For some reason my mind sees an older Steve Costigan nearly ready to retire from the ring.
ReplyDeleteNice to read this...
ReplyDeleteNice one, Charles. I have always wondered what drives boxers into the ring. My father used to say it was the most cruel sport.
ReplyDeleteBernard, thanks, man.
ReplyDeleteTy, probably Costigan is a part of the influence.
Weekend-Windup, thanks for visiting.
Prashant, I've actually never been able to watch much boxing because of that.
interesting scene, never really thought what a boxer would be thinking during that break time, you got it and it is what we feel and think too most of the time
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not him... nice capture of a scene; you could tighen it up a bit by cutting some repetitive words.
ReplyDeleteYou make us hear the bell
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=
I can feel his exhaustion and pain. Well done!
ReplyDeleteLisa, he's one tired fellow.
ReplyDeleteSage, it's still pretty rough draft but cutting is always a good thing.
Cloudia, thanks.
aimless, I could certainly feel it myself.
A strong scene, indeed. I did not mind some of the repetitions. It made the main character more tired and perhaps, a bit older (than he should be to cope with all that awaits him in the ring).
ReplyDeleteAlso I sense the whole scene may be an allegory.
Szelsofa
Great scenario. Journeyman writing!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Szelsofa.
Strong scene, and the whole scene could be an allegory.
...Come to think of it a definite allegory.
I am 76 and it's durn hard to get up these days and hit 'em with a left and a right. :)
I remember those dsys well, and you've caught the moments between rounds perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI'm with him.
ReplyDeleteI like that, can feel the tension and sweat in the air.
ReplyDeleteGreat scene. Can feel that heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteCharles-I am a boxer and I love it. Just sparring-no ring. Too old for that! Your boxer might have a roar in his head and Vaseline on his face!
ReplyDeleteIt's got me, certainly. Such a primal sport, with a few modern trappings added.
ReplyDeletenice opening! it really draws you in.
ReplyDeleteSzelsofa, you are correct! ;)
ReplyDeleteIvan, thankee, man.
Oscar, thanks. I spent quite a lot of time trying to get it right.
Gordon, thanks for visiting.
Snowbrush, me too.
David J., glad to hear that.
Patti, thank you.
Jodi, the roar. I need to get that in there.
Erik, a metaphor for life.
Greg, thanks. I appreciate it.
Powerful sense of foreboding that you depict here.
ReplyDeleteMust have been late in the fight or he punched himself out early or he'd be thinking "how many more jabs before i hit him with the knock out?"
ReplyDeleteX. Dell, thanks, man.
ReplyDeleteMark, I believe he doubts his ability to win. :)