I started fiddling with a post on battle songs but got off track with a poem that I thought I'd put up. The song that I think captures a sense of battle better than any ever written is "Deaf Forever" by Motorhead. Love it. I basically tried to write more stanzas for that song, and try to make them relevant in some twisted way to today. If you listen to the song then you'll hear the rhythm that this poem should be read in. If you don't want to go to that trouble, no problem. This isn't very good anyway, and I wouldn't ever submit it anywhere.
I'm going to try and post the video, but if I don't get that done, I think this is a link to the song on You Tube. Deaf Forever
Battle on!
Cold as Hell
Battle yell
Death awaits me on the devil’s leash
Sword on shield
No one will yield
Worm waiting for the murdered feast
Cut them down
Killing ground
Dream of evil with an angel’s face
Shade of ice
Sacrifice
Lost your honor in a blind disgrace
Bone and blood
Crimson flood
Love returns as an emptied lust
Nothing left
No blade to heft
Can’t feed a child on war’s cold crust
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damn... they're both powerful!
ReplyDeletePretty cool, Charles. Billy Joel (of all people) wrote a song about Vietnam with a lyric I'll always remember: we rode in spastic, like newborn horses/we left in plastic, just nameless corpses.
ReplyDeleteWow. That is so good. I can't believe how effective it is in its brevity. I am impressed.
ReplyDeleteWell rock on!
ReplyDeleteWell done Charles.
Good Deal. I got the rhythm right and actually heard Lemmy(always dug that gravelly voice) singing the words in my mind as I read. Love that band.
ReplyDeleteThe Ace of Spades was the first album of theirs I ever bought. And I do mean album, a nice big vinyl record. Still my favorite by them.
I didn't go to the link to get the beat and personally I am glad I didn't. This three line verse, six stanza piece has it's own beat and tempo right from the outset.
ReplyDeleteI'll also be honest in that I haven't read your books Charles but if you won't send this out to your various publishers, you should incorporate it "a la Tolkien" into a manuscript. It is very evocative of wars necessary cruelness.
nice! those are some good verses to get you pumped up.
ReplyDeleteI like it. It's stark and thought provoking at the same time.
ReplyDeleteGood edition if lyrics, and they would fit.
ReplyDelete"It isn't very good anyway"
ReplyDeleteBullshit.
It's very good.
Oh, and of course, I was thinking about poetry today...
ReplyDeleteLemme would be proud :)
ReplyDeletePotent images.
Motorhead. Gotta love the classics.
ReplyDeleteSend me your email address so I can add you to my blog reader list.
ReplyDeleteshimmeringcheri@gmail.com
Laughingwolf, thankee.
ReplyDeleteWayne, I don't know if I've heard that song. I probably did but didn't recognize the lyrics.
SQT, thanks. You're way too kind.
Anndi, gives her the Ronnie James Dio Heavy metal salute.
Randy Johnson, that's the first album I got by them too. I played Ace of Space itself over and over and...well you get the idea.
Mark, you're one of only 5.999999 billion who have not read my books. This is pretty much deliberate pastiche, though. Just from hearing the song in my head.
Greg, definitely gets my blood flowing.
Virginia lady, I have to take Metal music over rap, but there are a couple of songs I like from rap, songs my son got me into when he went through his rap stage. He's more into metal now.
Bernarld, I had to listen to the song a couple of times to get the pattern in my head first.
Bernita, sometimes it's just fun to play around. I was thinking about another kind of poetry post too, on the multiple layers of poetry. Not sure when I'll get it up.
L. A. Mitchell, Lemmy would either be proud or would eat me.
Heff, Orgasmatron is my favorite motorhead album.
Cheri, will do.
I love it!! Especially that last line. :-)
ReplyDeleteNow that was fun! Love Motorhead and your new "lyrics" are awesome. I'm giving you the forks right now.
ReplyDeleteI've always been partial to The Trooper by Iron Maiden.
ReplyDeleteCool!!
ReplyDeleteRock and Roll on Charles
Blogger ate my comment. <:( I'd said something about how I enjoyed listening to you hash it out on the couch. Always love to hear you, though.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really like that. It's very inspirational, which I'm always looking for.
ReplyDeleteI wave my lighter in your general direction!
ReplyDeleteDemon hunter, thankee.
ReplyDeleteAvery, Rock on!
Travis Erwin, that's a good un too. I like the Motorhead one for it's ability to evoke a feeling of sword to sword combat. The "Trooper" is set later in time, but I do like it. Love the Eddie figure for it. Another fine one, about the loss of war, is Saxon's Broken Heroes.
Middle ditch, British bands know their warfare.
Lana, I enjoyed watching you while I was hashing it out.
Christina, I find it inspirational.
Steve Malley, headbangers r us.
Charles, Ooorah!
ReplyDeleteThoroughly enjoyed it!
Some of my favourite bands are metal bands and you know that Charles.
ReplyDelete'One' by Metallica would be my war song, but this poem is a really tough and spot-on one.
Such is war...
Erik, glad you did.
ReplyDeleteSzelsofa, I like "One" a lot. I'd have to definitely consider it an 'anti'-war song, though.
I like the rhythm of this and a lot of the phrases, too. 'Worm waiting for the murdered feast' is great.
ReplyDeletewow. Intriguing. I can't write songs if my life depended on it. haha
ReplyDeleteMary Witzl, I kind of liked that line myself.
ReplyDeleteSheila, good to see you, and to hear you are doing well. I've not done much song writing, but a little bit.
It works for me. Your work is a worthy addition to the song.
ReplyDeleteJack, thankee.
ReplyDeleteMaster of the words,
ReplyDeletethis is very powerful stuff!
War is hell.
Fiery rhythm, Charles. And the words are fierce and chilling.
ReplyDelete