Sunday, September 30, 2018

A Hard Loss for Us All


On September 29, a young woman of my acquaintance killed herself. I had not met her in real life but that doesn’t mean I didn’t know her. We had been friends on facebook for several years and had corresponded frequently. I had learned about her life, her pups, her house, her job, her fears and hopes.

Amanda was kind-hearted, intelligent, principled. She worked with animals and loved them. She had much to offer the world, but the world didn’t seem to want it. Not the whole world, certainly. She had friends and people who cared about her. But I believe she felt that there wasn’t a place for her in the world. It is not for me to address the reasons why she might have felt this way. I know others with the same reasons who also suffer.

On the day of the act, she posted a short message on facebook to say goodbye. Despite the fact that people responded within fifteen minutes and the police were called, it was too late. I did not find that out until late evening, and now my heart hurts. I wish the world had been better for her.

All I can say is, be kind to each other. One thing I try to ask myself when I make judgements about people from some brief interaction with them, or from just knowing their opinion about some particular issue, is: “What if you’re wrong?” “What if that’s not who they really are inside?” I don’t always succeed in doing this and certainly wish I was much better at it. But I do know, Kindness Matters!

16 comments:

Jeff said...

So sorry to hear this but yes, kindness matters!

David J. West said...

Sorry to hear that.

Unknown said...

Jeff, tremendously.

David J., thanks, man

Seth Lindberg said...

RIP Amanda

Livia J Washburn said...

This is heartbreaking. Yes, kindness matters. I try to be kind, but I know I can do better.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That is terrible. We need to reach out in kindness and in love at all times.

Rachel V. Olivier said...

It’s so hard. When one of my neighbors killed himself earlier this year, my called it a slammed door. And those left behind are sad, angry, puzzled, bereft all at once. So hard.

Unknown said...

Seth, she was a really good person

Livia, it is certainly hard some times

Alex, yes, yes

Rachel, so many questions are raised by such, and no answers to be had

pattinase (abbott) said...

Terribly sorry. As I said on facebook, a friend lost her 17 year old grandson last week. And twenty-five years ago, his aunt at age 20. Horrible.

Angie said...

I'm so sorry, Charles. [hugz] It's terrible when something like that happens. I can imagine how she felt, unfortunately. I have a scar on my wrist that reminds me every day. When you're that depressed and despairing, you can't imagine that anyone would want to help you. It's a horrible feeling.

Angie

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

I am sorry to hear of this, Charles. Most of the time you don't know what the other is going through. You often come across people with problems but you wouldn't know looking at them. They put up a brave front.

Charles Gramlich said...

Patti, plenty of pain to go around.

Angie, Yes, I think I can too.

Prashant, so true

Shesky Rose said...
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emica rin said...
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Jennifer Macaire said...

Such an important message - thank you!!

Charles Gramlich said...

Jennifer, a hard one to have to dispense