Wednesday, February 11, 2015

WIP It Good?

Here is a snippet of what I've been working on lately. This is a novella project entitled "The Razored Land," and it's finished except for the final read through. I hope to have news about where it might appear soon.

Two Kainhite warriors came striding toward him across the field. From the whispering of their movements, Loerd knew that both retained their wings. For this moment, he gave that fact no thought. In the reflected glow of their scarlet eyes, he studied instead the wheeled cart they dragged behind them on a length of chain. Upon the cart sat a cage, and within the cage stirred a violent thing.
The warriors stopped a few feet from Loerd, dropped the chain, bowed, and backed away. Loerd approached the cart. The thing penned upon it began to smash back and forth against the bars of its prison as it voiced a throbbing snarl of warning and threat.
“Shhh,” Loerd murmured. “Shhh.”
The creature’s snarl grew instead, reached a crescendo of bestial rage. A dark-furred limb thrust suddenly through the bars and slashed at Loerd with claws as sharp and long as pitchfork tines. They did not quite reach to where Loerd stood, and the master of the Kainhites smiled. Then he vented his own snarl, a very soft one, and he opened the pores on his body so that his scent poured out and over the thing in the cage.
The thing huffed, then backed quickly away as far as its bars allowed. Loerd stepped closer. He drew the soul-black blade that hung at his hip and the dimmest flickers of light played along its edge. The thing in the cage crouched low; a whimper escaped its throat.
“Release it!” Loerd ordered.
One of the warriors who had brought the cart tugged on a rope that it held. The side of the cage furthest from Loerd fell away. The thing within recognized its sudden freedom and leaped out onto the field. But, where moments before it would have been happy to rend and tear every living thing around it, now it fled on swift feet for the woods. 
          Loerd gave the thing a head start before he followed.
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28 comments:

R.T. said...

'Tis a well-baited hook upon which to catch plenty of readers.

Tom Doolan said...

OOoooo...sounds awesome so far!

Victorian Barbarian said...

It makes me want to keep reading. Sentient or at least semi-souled creature, winged almost human warriors, and a commanding protagonist...works for me!

Charles Gramlich said...

R.T., thankee, man.

Tom, much appreciated.

Victorian, I think the creatures are pretty interesting too. There's a lot more than meets the eye.

Carole said...

Loerd is a fair hunter. He at least gives a fighting chance to the beast, although if the beast is smart, he knows he is outmatched. I agree with R.T. "a well-baited hook."

Lana Gramlich said...

Awesome, baby!

pattinase (abbott) said...

I am thinking when you set something in another world there must be a lot more space given to description.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I like that! I feel like I am right there, facing the snarling beast. (Glad I'm not though.)

Brian Miller said...

interesting...i am intrigued by the characters use of scent to communicate the threat to the animal....cool excerpt...

Charles Gramlich said...

Carole, I think Loerd is one of my more interesting characters. I'm rather intrigued with him myself.

Lana, thanks sweetness.

Patti, yes, I agree with that. Or when you have alien like forms like these. I like good description anyway, though. It's important to me in reading.

Alex, me too. :)

Brian, thanks. I appreciate it.

R.T. said...

Charles, I was thinking more about your preview scene.

The Lord (my spelling -- a variant of your spelling) must contend with and overcome Evil (Satanic) forces.

Why, it reminds me of Tolkien.

I hope that is not an insult.

sage said...

Wow, I started reading critically (ie, came striding--are both words needed) but before I knew it, I was drawn into the story and now want to know what happens? Does he chase the beast? Is this a story like Jesus and the Genasene Demoniac? You gotta tell us more, Man!

Cloudia said...

So many possibilities to flesh out




ALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
<3

Charles Gramlich said...

R. T. Loerd is definitely a rather bibilical term and there is a connection revealed in the book. there will be a sequel as well, which will provide more detail on this world and the beings that inhabit it.

Sage. there is actually going to be a biblical/religious connection for many characters in this book. I have tried to treat the overall concept with respect, having grown up as a Christian.

Cloudia, I am hoping for mystery at this phase. Sounds like it worked. :)

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Charles, like everyone else on this page, I want to read more, know what happens to the thing. I actually feel for it.

the walking man said...

It reads well Charles if the rest is paced in the same way you should have no problems getting it published.

There is a slight moral tone to it, standing up to the fearsome makes them flee.

Charles Gramlich said...

Prashant, I generally want readers to feel for both heroes and villains. It's the kind of work I like to read.

Mark, or perhaps that which stands up the fearsome is yet more fearsome itself. :)

Oscar said...

Very enticing and somewhat scary.

Charles Gramlich said...

Oscar, thanks!

X. Dell said...

Something tells me this formerly caged creature won't fare too well.

Charles Gramlich said...

X. Dell, yeah, I think he better run really fast.

David Cranmer said...

Always a pleasure to read what you are up to, Charles.

Erik Donald France said...

I dig it, man ~ cheers ~!

Charles Gramlich said...

David, thanks, man.

Erik, Weird dreams for everyone!

Bernard Lee DeLeo said...

Engrossing excerpt for sure.

jodi said...

Charles-not my usual genre-but still totally engaging!

Riot Kitty said...

A dark-furred limb...I have two furry guys with those here!

Seriously, I'm curious to see where this goes.

Charles Gramlich said...

Bernard, thanks, man.

Jodi, I appreciate that.

Riot kitty. I don't even know myself exactly what that dark-furred limb entails. :)