The truth is that natural disasters have been happening a long time in human history, and before human history. The truth is that human beings have been killing each other in large numbers for a long time. If we are going to find answers to these problems, ways to mitigate natural disasters and to minimize humankind's more vicious tendencies, we have to give thought to real causes and potentially real solutions, not to distractions. Those who are throwing up these distractions at us are definitely part of the problem and not the solution.
I don't even know if its appropriate given all the crap we've heard lately, but sometimes a good way of calling attention to those who are adding to the problem is with humor. I hope you take what follows in that vein.
LITTLE KNOWN FACTS IN
GAY MARRIAGE HISTORY
In 1883, the volcanic island of Krakatoa erupted, producing
the loudest sound ever heard in the modern world. Over 36,000 people died as a
result of the explosion. The cause has since been revealed as Gay Marriage!
Around 450 or so AD, Attila the Hun repeatedly attacked
Europe, slaughtering thousands. It is said that Atilla constructed pyramids
from the skulls of his victims. Only recently has it come to light that it was,
in fact, Gay Marriage, that gave rise to Attila.
In about 72 AD, the Roman Coliseum was built. It was used
for the execution of Christians among other things. But do you know why the emperor Vespasian
began construction of the Coliseum? You guessed it: Gay Marriage!
65 Million years ago, an asteroid (or two) slammed into the
earth. The dinosaurs went extinct. The
fossil evidence is scanty but many suspect the impact was a result of Gay
Marriage among the T-Rexes of the age.
GAY MARRIAGE – Triggering horrific acts of violence since before
there were even people!
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36 comments:
Charles, you forgot about the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD, killing thousands in Pompeii and elsewhere along the Italian coast. However, contrary to popular belief, it was not the Christian God who was responsible for that one. No, no. It was Jupiter. Apparently two girls accidentally touched hands on the island of Lesbos, and then all hell broke loose. Go figure.
Ty, I didn't know about that one but you are absolutely correct. I checked it out. It'll have to go with the next list.
So what caused the last Ice Age?
Mastadons and saber-tooth tigers sleeping together.
And the rise of gas prices!
Keith, what Ty said.
Ty, exactly.
Deka, indeed!
Maybe it's the lack of truly good books out there.
After all, some of those pop culture best selllers make people here scratch their heads.
Or.
Or.
Ummm...kind of lost for words here. Had a thought, but it left me behind at the station.
Thank you, I totally needed that laugh! And I am going to use that "if so, God is a thug" argument with the nuts I run into.
These people turn up on blogs and spew their venom too. I think they do a google search for a topic--in this case the name of the town--and go on the blogs and spew. We are living in strange times. Never before has it been so easy to spout hate speech.
facts don't lie - people do;
LOL
Aloha from Waikiki, my Friend
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < } } ( ° >
Lol! For the life of me I can't figure out why gay monogamy gets people so riled up.
G. B., you can never let a thought escape. That's why I tie mine up as soon as I get them. I then lock them in cages and beat them regularly to maintain discipline.
Riot Kitty, the nasty things people believe of God never cease to amaze me.
Patti, that's for sure. And, unfortunately, speech is not very closely related to thought for many people.
Cloudia, yep.
SQT, I know. I simply can't understand why anyone other than two gay folks who wanted to get married could care.
also, not too far in our immediate past, it was women, not wearing their brassieres, who caused all those fatal earthquakes!
And all this time, 65 million years, I have been blaming myself because I refuse to cut my hair or rim my beard. According to the Old Lady my refusal is to torture her with my shedding hair she keeps coming across. I am glad that it's not my fault though. I know it's not the gays but as long as it's not mine I can finally be relieved of that pressure...now what do I do about my love for pancakes?
Charles, don't you just hate this crap? People are nuts, I swear!
Charles, this sort of thing is catching on in India too, thanks to a hyperventilating electronic media. I think a lot of people out there have a lot of idle time on their hands. Not to mention getting weirder as time passes. Those little known facts...I really enjoyed them.
Laughingwolf,they call that sympathetic magic. :)
Mark, you are absolved, my friend. I don't know about the pancakes. Eat them until you are sick. that might help.
Jodi, completely and totally nuts indeed.
Prashant, I suspect the media feeding into it helps. And every loco who wants to can get on the news spouting this kind of nonsense.
This obsession over gay marriage.
One day a kid will say, "The emperor is in drag!"
Gosh. All the terrible events of history make so much more sense with that explanation.
Sheesh! I never understood why all this crap was going on, now I do! Thanks, Charles, and have a Merry Christmas!
Ivan, it already happened in Caligula's time, I believe. :)
Golden Eagle, a unifying theme at last.
Oscar, :) You too, man.
And now the official NRA response to the tragedy in Newtown is to arm teachers in elementary schools and add armed guards. I find that as comical as the Gay Marriage cause of natural disasters.
Travis Cody, most people, even when trained, have problems handling firearms safely in an emergency. I agree with you that armed teachers could be a dangerous situation for sure.
Charles, I love it! I was the 'best woman' in my best friends (gay) wedding and have lived to tell the tale!
Jodi, glad you enjoyed!
People scare me. And make me sad. Thanks for the laugh.
And Ivan, I thought they were already saying that.
Sending you Seasons Greetings and wishing you and your family a peaceful, happy and healthy 2013 x
I would say a rousing "Amen." But I fear that someone is going to Google in off the streets, see the part about Gay Marriage, not read the part before that....and take the latter part of this post as the gospel truth.
A couple of grad students at BJU might even cite it in their theses.
Jess, me too.
Leigh, thanks, and I hope you and your family have a great 2013 as well.
X. Dell, oh well, another citation to count toward my accomplishments. :)
As far as I know, there is no gay marriage until this century. I could be wrong but that is what I've figured.
I guess such is human nature... find somebody to blame even when (or especially when) we are the only ones to blame...
I hope your Holidays are very happy and I wish you all the best, to you and your loved ones!
Right on, man ~ and a Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays ~ cheers ~ peace ~ & to less viciousness all around ~!
Great post! The stupidity of people never ceases to amaze. Merry Christmas!
i knew some facts about our great ancestor, Attila.
but now i know all he did he did for (or against?) gay marriage.
thanks for the explanation. :) :) :)
and you are right: our world is filled with manipulators. some aim for the better, some for the worse. one has to be informed to judge and not to judge and to differentiate between the two.
Hm. (Chuckle).
Atilla the Hun. Wasn't he a bit right of old Barry Goldwater?
But no.
(To stick with the thread),
"Let's kill all the women and rape all the men! :)
Lisa, I bet there has been been unions in the past between gay couples. I don't know for sure. this post is of course a joke about how people seem to blame gay marriage for everything.
Vesper, indeed. Humans always want a scapegoat.
Erik, it would be nice to see a decrease in viciousness.
Greg, absolutely!
Szelsofa, yes, it's so difficult to tell.
Ivan, egads. That doesn't sound quite right.
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