Saturday, October 20, 2012

Growing a Character

I see a scene in my head. It goes something like this:

The last Danok lies dying at the warrior's feet, it's silver blood soaking into the raven sands of the arena. More of that same blood drips from his sword, from his hand, from his face. He tastes it in his mouth like a raw and bitter wine.

He looks up at the stands surrounding him. The Vhichang mob is on its feet, the bright feathers on their bodies standing up with excitement. They chant  his name in hawkish voices. "Raath! Raath!  Raath!"

A sudden roar of sound drowns out the mob. Raath's gaze is drawn higher, into the golden sky. A metallic object as big as the arena hovers there. He recognizes it as some kind of ship, but it is nothing like the Vhichang vessels he has seen. On its side there is writing.

A weakness sweeps over Raath, a weakness that no foe has ever caused in him. He recognizes the writing from a childhood he barely remembers. He can read it.

"United States Air Force," it says.

End scene.

Where will this scene take me?  Anywhere?  Nowhere?  I only know that I feel a character growing in my head. And I wonder.

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28 comments:

Deka Black said...

Easy. is in a parallel universe. The fighter recognizes the writing from the belongings of an ancestor. Said ancestor was a USAF Officer who crossed to that universe

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Futuristic? Dystopian?

David J. West said...

I love it! MORE!

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Charles, I see the makings of a new fantasy novel or a collection of a number of short "scenes" like these. I hope they keep growing in your head so that we can keep reading them!

Randy Johnson said...

Nice start of the development of a good story I'd wager.

G. B. Miller said...

I see it developing in the future, ala "Planet of the Apes" (the original that spawned the sequals), where the plane is a vanishing symbol of what was in plenty but now extinct. Kind of like the cat and dog in the original movie.

Ty Johnston said...

This. Is. Awesome.

Charles, you need to write this.

As for what went through my mind while reading it, I was thinking Raath was a somewhat traditional S&P hero, but he's been gone from his home planet (Earth) for so long that he's nearly forgotten about it. The USAF sign jars his memories.

Either way, I want MORE.

Charles Gramlich said...

Deka, that's honing in on kind of where I'm thinking.

Alex, futuristic, I believe.

David J., thankee.

Prashant, there was something in a dream the other night that helped trigger this scene.

Randy, I'm intrigued by what happens next.

G. B., there's a possibility.

Ty, The Raath character is intriguing. I've wanted to use that name for a character for a long time but haven't found the right story yet. Maybe it's this one.

Vesper said...

I love this scene! Let it grow...

Ron Scheer said...

You have a craven imagination, and I'd be even more intrigued if the ship said CCCP.

laughingwolf said...

usaf hovercraft?

swords and guns?

rock on! :)

Deka Black said...

Realy? Glad to hear it!

the walking man said...

The USAF has either come for war or recovery of the fallen, they have no other reason for existence.

Charles Gramlich said...

Vesper, thankee.

Ron, dang, that is better. Never occurred to me. But it has now. :)

Laughingwolf, I've got a connection in mind for the swords and guns.

Deka, :)

Mark, you don't think they could just be an exploration vessel?

The Golden Eagle said...

Sounds like this scene could go in a lot of interesting directions!

Keith said...

Your homework assignment is to finish this story.

Travis Cody said...

Fascinating. Sword and planet genre with a twist, perhaps?

Charles Gramlich said...

Golden Eagle, I like to read that kind of book.

Steve Malley said...

OOh, fun! Let that bright gossamer fragment find other threads to stick to it, building as they go... :)

Kate Sterling said...

Oh, cool! I have no doubt that you'll turn it into something awesome, just like you did with your dream of Ember Star.

Bernard Lee DeLeo said...

Yep, grow that one. :)

eric1313 said...

This is really good for a few little paragraphs. Hard to judge it without more to read.

eric1313 said...

What if the craft disappears, like UFOs over USAF bases do... Will Raath be made a pariah for claiming to have seen it?

Charles Gramlich said...

Steve Malley, an organic build. I like that.

Kate, thankee. I had some fun writing that one.

Bernard, cool, man.

Eric1313, yeah, it's very incomplete. I like developing things from scenes like this. But there'll have to be much more.

Jess * Jessie * Jessy said...

I love Deka's suggestion. Great scene!

Charles Gramlich said...

Jess, indeed!

jodi said...

Charles, the USAF adds a very realistic element to the fantasy.

Charles Gramlich said...

Jodi, cool!