Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Lana

This is the hardest post I've ever had to write on the blog. Many of you already know, from Facebook, that Lana has been diagnosed with cancer. It's associated with the lymph gland in her throat but we don't know anything else at the moment. We are trying to schedule doctor's appointments now.

I'm actually pretty angry at the local doctors she's been seeing about this issue. She reported to a doctor almost two years ago about a swollen lymph gland. They kept assuring her everything was normal. Well, it turns out, not so much. And now they seem to be giving her a run-around even about setting up an appointment. She is looking tonight for alternative sources of care, and I'm going to make sure to go with her when she gets an appointment.

The past few years have been some of the happiest of my life, and we are both hoping for many more. But life has changed irrevocably for both of us. I guess the law of life is change. I would have liked to go on just like we've been for at least another 20 years. But mostly you don't get what you wish for.

I wish I had something more profound to say, but my mind is moving at glacial speed right now. I've become largely an automaton. I expect to be that way for a good while. I have to keep working so we'll have money and insurance, but I guess it's a good thing I've been doing this teaching thing for a long time and can do much of what I do on autopilot.

I don't plan to stop blogging. In this modern world, the people I blog with have become part of my social support network. We now all have good friends who we've never met. I will be blogging less. I'll probably cut down to one or two posts a week, which I've been kind of doing anyway during the school year, and I won't be commenting as much on other blogs. I will miss that.

I know you will, but please send us your best wishes and prayers. And thanks for being there.
-----
-----

60 comments:

Ron Scheer said...

Charles, you have every right to be angry, and if you cut back on blogging, we know what your priorities have to be now.

Bill Crider said...

Charles, my wife has been under treatment for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma for five years at M. D. Anderson in Houston. Lots of folks from your state come there. I highly recommend it.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Charles, you fight for everything your wife needs!! I will be praying for you and Lana both.

Cloudia said...

"There but for fortune."
This post could have been/could be my own. I know that. As a human (so you see) being moved by YOU, means I'm forced to think/feel about ME. Strange creatures. I think we are "one" in a deep, not a 'nice thought' way.

You and Lana are dear to me. Yes, we all have dear friends we have never met.

All my love. All my hopes. All my best wishes. My most sincere prayers today - are all yours, Charles. Yours & Lovely Lana's.

It occurs to me, that in future she will be blogging about how this all brought her to even a higher and happier level.

I will pray for that day.

Look how many of us care deeply for you folks.

When all else fails, i guess I run my words......we are here for you!!!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Charles, you and Lana have my hopes and prayers for a good outcome and a return to good health for her.

My husband has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, and just began to receive hospice care from some very wonderful, caring people. His early complaints were also not taken seriously by doctors because of his youthfulness, but in Lana's case early diagnosis surely could have helped her sooner. I hope so much that she gets the treatment she needs now and recovers fully. I'm so sorry for all you're both going through. Staying positive does help.

BernardL said...

You and Lana will of course be in my prayers, my very good friend.

Kate Sterling said...

I am so, so sorry to hear about this. I don't blame you for being angry - you both have every right to be. I just hope that this will be quickly treated and cured. My best thoughts, wishes and prayers go out to you both.

M.M. FAHREN said...

You and Lana have both best wishes and prayers, as you always have and always will. The alternatives can do wonders. It takes trust and work and yes, money, as insurancee are leaning against them still. But there are many breaks you will find. Keep positive. It heals. xxx
With you both here. You know where to contact me.

Rachel V. Olivier said...

Hang in there, CHarles.

James Reasoner said...

You'll both be in our thoughts and prayers.

Keith said...

I really hate to hear this. I will be praying for you both. While I've enjoyed your comments on my blog, I understand if I don't hear from you for a while. Your priorities lie elsewhere. Take care of Lana, and take care of yourself, both for her sake and your own. Holler if you need anything, and keep us posted on both her condition and yours. This is something you will go through together, but you won't go through it alone.

Christina said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. The doctor issue makes me mad since this was going on for two years. Lana and you are both in my heart.

laughingwolf said...

thoughts and prayers to both of you, and all the powers i can muster, i send for her speedy recovery...

cancer is such a bitch... it does not care whom it inflicts :(

Sarah Hina said...

All my best to you and Lana, Charles. I'm terribly sorry you're both going through this.

Tom Doolan said...

Add us to those who will pray because we can't do more. Our thoughts are with you and your beautiful and talented wife.

Travis Cody said...

Damn. I'm so sorry.

Let yourself feel every emotion. Give yourself time to grasp it and come to terms with it. And then turn your thoughts positive. Cancer can be beat. I've done it. I've been cancer free for nearly 20 years.

Yeah, your lives are going to change. Once the shock settles, you'll find you're ready to fight. I found that when I stared the damn thing in the face, it wasn't nearly as scary. Learn about the bastard. Find the right doc, understand Lana's options, pick your treatment strategy. Be involved, because the more you know, the better equipped you are to keep a positive outlook.

Give Lana my best, and take some for yourself. You can get get through this.

FYI - Cancer Treatment Centers of America has facilities in Tulsa.

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Charles, I am deeply sorry to hear about Lana. My heart and prayers go out to you both. In times of adversity, I turn to my spiritual teacher's words of solace — "Cling to the Lord in all situations. Do not worry about anything..." They have been a strong prop in our lives. I hope and pray Lana and you come out of this triumphantly and that you both go back to being "happiest" for many, many years.

G. B. Miller (aka G) said...

Please pardon my blutness with this next sentence, but...

Holy fuckin' shit!

I can't even begin to describe how ticked I was after reading that Lana got the run around from the doctor.

There really is no advice I can give other than to continue being that strong rock/tree for her.

You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers and I just know that Lana will kick the big C in spectacular fashion.

sage said...

I am sorry to hear this and agree with Ron that you have every right to be angry and to feel a host of emotions we can't even begin to understand. Yet, we can be with you in thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I hear about this sort of thing too much. Doctors that don't investigate a symptom that a patient come in with. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

the walking man said...

First I would that she finds the right doctor immediately. That is the most important person right now, the one that can guide her and you through this dark valley.

Second Charles, now more than ever before, you have to lose your fear of your future together. In my thinking that is the most important thing you can do for you both. Fear a demon and it owns you, fear it not and you own it and can crush it.

Be Well and whole buddy, your days together are not done so do not think like you see the end of them, yes I understand how serious this is medically but it is my faith that prays to YOU to have faith that this is a bump on what is yet going to be a long trip together with Lana.

ivan said...

When God dumps on my works and projects, or makes me sick, I say to myself I probably deserve it. Drunkard. Fornicator. Carouser, No-good boyo!

But as I visit hospitals I see more and more good,moral productive and loving people -suddenly smitten in mid-life by that horrible cancer thing..

It ain't fair, I tell you.

I'm with Claudia..."There but for fortune...'
...And yet there is this madness. Almost clinical.
And a duodenum that will not heal.

Friends say, "Well, you're not a perfect ass."

But perfectly good people seem to get badly stricken
for no good reason!

My prayers and sympathy for Lana.
Take care, both of you.

Elaine Ash said...

I am so sorry to hear this news, Charles. Words fail. A whole lot of people are here to support you and Lana. Don't hesitate to reach out, like you just did. You will both be in my prayers.
Elaine Ash

Ty Johnston said...

Charles, I sent you a message via FB.

What else can I say? I don't know. Words seem hollow at times like this.

My thoughts and prayers are with you guys, always.

Randy Johnson said...

You do what's best for Lana and You. Don't worry about us out here. We have your back as much as we can. Keep our fingers crossed and you guys in our thoughts.

Jason E. Thummel said...

My family will keep you in our thoughts and prayers as well.

Michelle's Spell said...

Oh Charles, I'm so so sorry about this development. I know how much you and Lana love each other (through both of your blogs, I can see what a great marriage you have through the support you give each other) and I will be praying for her and sending healing thoughts. It totally sucks that the doctors blew her off (heard many stories like that one -- definitely keep searching until you find the one you trust and who knows the most about her particular cancer). Hang in there and know that both of you are loved by many. All the Detroit gang are pulling for you both!

Gabby said...

I am so sorry to hear about my Ravebaby!! :(

I once watched a documentary (Food Matters, I think), and they talked about nutrient-based therapy helping to cure cancer, specifically, infusing high doses of Vitamin C -- no side effects, like chemo and radiation, and 100% effective (or so they said). Since she's looking for alternatives, it made me think of that. I also know that sugar can feed cancer, so maybe taking that out of her diet? (Also, I know this may sound odd, but I go to a Maximized Living chiropractor that has helped people beat cancer through chiro treatments, as well as helping with nutrition.)

AND, if you don't take any of that as it's kindly meant (^_^), then please DO know that I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. I know she can beat this! Tell her that Reeny's thinking of her! AND you. *hugs*

Shauna Roberts said...

Echoing Bill Crider's post—M.D. Anderson in Houston has the best reputation in the country for cancer care.

Also want to ditto The Walking Man's post and add that fear can keep one from making the best decisions.

I wish I were there and could do more. But the two of you are in my thoughts.

Erik Donald France said...

Charles and Lana, my heart, prayers and good thoughts go out to you both. May you find good treatment and kind care and healing recovery -

cs harris said...

Your anger is so understandable, Charles. Thank God you have good health insurance, and that Lana has your support and love to help see her through this. You're gonna make that 20 years!

David J. West said...

I understand having a spouse with serious health problems very well-all the best our thoughts and prayers are with you both.

moonrat said...

thinking of you, Charles.

Richard Prosch said...

I second the spirit of Bill Crider's comment. Be relentless in finding the best docs you can. Thoughts and prayers and good vibes your way.

oceangirl said...

Charles, I am so sorry. I pray for Lana and you. Life is not without challenge and life is also about counting blessings.

Angie said...

I'm so sorry, hon. Definitely kick ass for her with those doctors; it sounds like she really needs an advocate's support, and I know you'll be a great one.

I'll be thinking positive thoughts for both of you. [hugz]

Angie

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Dear Charles and Lana .. my thoughts are with you - and I wish you both positive energy .. Hilary

ninthmuse (roz m) said...

You're both in my thoughts and prayers.

Charles Gramlich said...

Thanks so much to everyone for their comments. Forgive me for not responding individually. I appreciate the support and ideas, as does Lana. We've changed Lana's doctor and will be meeting with the new people on Monday at noon. We both are anxious to get started dealing with the issue. Thanks again to all.

Greg said...

I'm sorry to hear about Lana. Wishing you all the best from up here. There are some really good doctors out there -- hope you find one soon.

The Golden Eagle said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Lana. Both of you will be in my thoughts.

Ella said...

You and Lana are in my thoughts n prayers,
I was told I had cancer a month, ago. Then told I do not.
I now am waiting for test results
I hope n pry, it was caught early. Alternative methods are worth considering. I would do both, if possible.

Laura said...

Hi there, I read about you guys on Alex's blog. I'm sending you all my love, prayers and best wishes
Laura x

Lady Gwen said...

Stopping by from Alex's blog. I'll pray for you both and send positive thoughts and lots of love your way:)

Carol Kilgore said...

You got it, Charles. Prayer works wonders.

Hootin' Howlin' Hephzibah! said...

Charles I'm so very sorry to learn Lana has cancer - Lana and you, and every doctor and any other medical care providers that she'll be receiving advice and treatment from, are all in my prayers. Give Lana a bear hug from me. DH

Charles Gramlich said...

Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate all the good thoughts and prayers for Lana and me.

Shea Goff said...

Much love and many prayers to you and Lana, Charles.

Snowbrush said...

Oh, Charles, how horrible. I just wish you had mentioned this on my blog because I haven't been visiting blogs much lately. For some reason, I needed a break, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know about catastrophes (I REALLY DO want to know about catastrophes). Oh, my. I see what you meant now by your comment, "I feel this one."

Peggy is morbidly afraid of cancer, and I hope to god she never has to face it because it's awful enough in itself, but what with her phobia of it, I don't know how she would cope.

I so wish I could say something comforting. Just know that I'm here for you. I would fly to Louisiana for a few days if it would do any good, so bear that in mind. For now, my friend, I guess the best thing is to simply take it a day at a time.

With love,
Snowbrush

SQT said...

I saw your original post on Facebook but somehow missed this one. I checked back in because, even though we don't know each other in our "real" lives, I feel like you're a friend and this was awful to hear. Lana has been in my thoughts and prayers ever since.

Keep us updated. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you on Monday.

David Cranmer said...

My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you and Lana, Charles. ANYTHING you need, please just ask.

Donnetta said...

Charles: Just back in from Florida. Sister in law also has cancer. Went to see her. Had a good time with her and her husband. Time to visit.

Yes, I'll be sending prayers your way. Lana is a keeper. You've both been so kind to me. Appreciate you both.

Will stay in touch. Many good thoughts. D

Deka Black said...

I don't know what to say. Only if you cut some activities, we know your priorities and your worries now.

lana have my best hopes.

Steve Malley said...

I so wish y'all were here. :/

You have my wishes, hopes and prayers...

Paul R. McNamee said...

You'll both be in my thoughts.

Vance Harrington said...

I loved reading the comments! Drug Addiction Rehabilitation Centers

Merisi said...

Charles and Lana,
I am at a loss for words.
My heart goes out to you both.

Jack Bertram said...

I was catching up on your blog and saw the news about Lana. I'm so sorry. The least I can do is send you my best wishes and hope that things will be OK. You guys are a great couple.

John Smith said...

Drug rehabilitation centers in Michigan are proven to beat your addiction.

tahera said...

Sorry to hear about your state, there are certain cancer center in oklahoma, which provide best technology to cure cancer.