Seems like quite a few folks have been posting plays lately so here is my entry. I call it: How a Cowboy Picks up a Lady: A Play.
Cowboy: *Strides up to a lovely gal a sittin’ at the bar sipping a Michelob. He hesitates when he sees the fancy beer she is drinking but finds her just too beayootiful in her white and black cowgirl skirt and her red satiny shirt with the shiny diamond shaped mother-of-pearl buttons. He decides to try his best line:*
“Why yo is jes as hot as a ten dollar pistol sittin’ there, Baby. What say we blow this gin joint and do us a little moonlit two steppin?”
Lady: *Is taken aback at his manly appearance and the very large hat he wears, but is impressed with his courtly manners. And with the spurs a jingling on his bootheels.*
“I would love to, “ she coos, eyelashes all a twitter.
Cowboy: *Sweeps her off her white booted feet, and carries her out to his ‘pick up,’ tucking her into the passenger seat where the smell of cedar from his tree odor thingie is brisk and cool as a mint julep in July. Climbs up the steps into the other side and starts the truck up with a roar.*
"LET'S TAKE A RIDE OUT TO WHERE THEY WATCH THE SUBMARINE RACES," he shouts over the booming growl of the big diesel engine on his Dodge RAM pickemup.
Lady: “Cedar. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” *Smiles purdy*
Cowboy: *Kicks the big V-16 in low gear and goes a squalling out of the parking lot on to the black top, crushing discarded beer cans and furrin imports alike. Hits cruising speed about 85 and sets back against the cushioned captain's seat, dropping a big hairy hand to the lady’s dainty lil knee under her cowgirl skirt.*
Lady: *Drops her own dainty lil hand to just above his knee, then scootches closer, purring.*
Cowboy: *Swallows his chaw. gulps, recovers.*
"Why lordy be, missy, I sure am a glad you ain't skittish as some of these here city gals one meets at them there disco places. Last lil gal I gave a ride too done plastered my poor achin head with wimin's libber rights nonsense." *Peers at her.* "You ain't no wimin's libber is ya?"
Lady: *Peers back.* "Not at the moment, no."
Cowboy: *Licks his lips, quickly pushes in a tape that plays Hank Williams cause he knows how sexy wimin gets to feelin’ alistenin to old Hank sing. He slides his arm across the back of the seat and lets his hand touch the length of her big hairdo, lightly tangling his fingers through her hair-sprayed, steel-link tresses.*
“Now you jes lean on back against the naughahyde seats, lil lady and let ole Charlie Bob do the drivin’”
Lady: “Yo’re the man, Lover.”
Cowboy: *He listens to purring, both of the engine and the lady, and he knows he has done it just right.*
“Gonna get lucky tonight, ole cuss,” he murmurs softly to himself. “Gonna get lucky tonight.”
NOTE: No cowboys or ladies were harmed in the making of this play.