Two Kainhite warriors came striding
toward him across the field. From the whispering of their movements, Loerd knew
that both retained their wings. For this moment, he gave that fact no thought. In
the reflected glow of their scarlet eyes, he studied instead the wheeled cart
they dragged behind them on a length of chain. Upon the cart sat a cage, and
within the cage stirred a violent thing.
The
warriors stopped a few feet from Loerd, dropped the chain, bowed, and backed
away. Loerd approached the cart. The thing penned upon it began to smash back
and forth against the bars of its prison as it voiced a throbbing snarl of warning
and threat.
“Shhh,”
Loerd murmured. “Shhh.”
The
creature’s snarl grew instead, reached a crescendo of bestial rage. A
dark-furred limb thrust suddenly through the bars and slashed at Loerd with
claws as sharp and long as pitchfork tines. They did not quite reach to where
Loerd stood, and the master of the Kainhites smiled. Then he vented his own
snarl, a very soft one, and he opened the pores on his body so that his scent
poured out and over the thing in the cage.
The
thing huffed, then backed quickly away as far as its bars allowed. Loerd
stepped closer. He drew the soul-black blade that hung at his hip and the
dimmest flickers of light played along its edge. The thing in the cage crouched
low; a whimper escaped its throat.
“Release
it!” Loerd ordered.
One
of the warriors who had brought the cart tugged on a rope that it
held. The side of the cage furthest from Loerd fell away. The thing within
recognized its sudden freedom and leaped out onto the field. But, where moments
before it would have been happy to rend and tear every living thing around it,
now it fled on swift feet for the woods.
Loerd
gave the thing a head start before he followed.
-----
-----
'Tis a well-baited hook upon which to catch plenty of readers.
ReplyDeleteOOoooo...sounds awesome so far!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me want to keep reading. Sentient or at least semi-souled creature, winged almost human warriors, and a commanding protagonist...works for me!
ReplyDeleteR.T., thankee, man.
ReplyDeleteTom, much appreciated.
Victorian, I think the creatures are pretty interesting too. There's a lot more than meets the eye.
Loerd is a fair hunter. He at least gives a fighting chance to the beast, although if the beast is smart, he knows he is outmatched. I agree with R.T. "a well-baited hook."
ReplyDeleteAwesome, baby!
ReplyDeleteI am thinking when you set something in another world there must be a lot more space given to description.
ReplyDeleteI like that! I feel like I am right there, facing the snarling beast. (Glad I'm not though.)
ReplyDeleteinteresting...i am intrigued by the characters use of scent to communicate the threat to the animal....cool excerpt...
ReplyDeleteCarole, I think Loerd is one of my more interesting characters. I'm rather intrigued with him myself.
ReplyDeleteLana, thanks sweetness.
Patti, yes, I agree with that. Or when you have alien like forms like these. I like good description anyway, though. It's important to me in reading.
Alex, me too. :)
Brian, thanks. I appreciate it.
Charles, I was thinking more about your preview scene.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord (my spelling -- a variant of your spelling) must contend with and overcome Evil (Satanic) forces.
Why, it reminds me of Tolkien.
I hope that is not an insult.
Wow, I started reading critically (ie, came striding--are both words needed) but before I knew it, I was drawn into the story and now want to know what happens? Does he chase the beast? Is this a story like Jesus and the Genasene Demoniac? You gotta tell us more, Man!
ReplyDeleteSo many possibilities to flesh out
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
<3
R. T. Loerd is definitely a rather bibilical term and there is a connection revealed in the book. there will be a sequel as well, which will provide more detail on this world and the beings that inhabit it.
ReplyDeleteSage. there is actually going to be a biblical/religious connection for many characters in this book. I have tried to treat the overall concept with respect, having grown up as a Christian.
Cloudia, I am hoping for mystery at this phase. Sounds like it worked. :)
Charles, like everyone else on this page, I want to read more, know what happens to the thing. I actually feel for it.
ReplyDeleteIt reads well Charles if the rest is paced in the same way you should have no problems getting it published.
ReplyDeleteThere is a slight moral tone to it, standing up to the fearsome makes them flee.
Prashant, I generally want readers to feel for both heroes and villains. It's the kind of work I like to read.
ReplyDeleteMark, or perhaps that which stands up the fearsome is yet more fearsome itself. :)
Very enticing and somewhat scary.
ReplyDeleteOscar, thanks!
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me this formerly caged creature won't fare too well.
ReplyDeleteX. Dell, yeah, I think he better run really fast.
ReplyDeleteAlways a pleasure to read what you are up to, Charles.
ReplyDeleteI dig it, man ~ cheers ~!
ReplyDeleteDavid, thanks, man.
ReplyDeleteErik, Weird dreams for everyone!
Engrossing excerpt for sure.
ReplyDeleteCharles-not my usual genre-but still totally engaging!
ReplyDeleteA dark-furred limb...I have two furry guys with those here!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm curious to see where this goes.
Bernard, thanks, man.
ReplyDeleteJodi, I appreciate that.
Riot kitty. I don't even know myself exactly what that dark-furred limb entails. :)