tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post8720782299264615361..comments2024-02-12T17:59:33.534-06:00Comments on RAZORED ZEN: Bitter SteelCharles Gramlichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-21004619719332943562010-05-12T01:22:08.717-05:002010-05-12T01:22:08.717-05:00Mary Witzl, I think many will recognize Robert E. ...Mary Witzl, I think many will recognize Robert E. Howard but probably not many of the others. But would they buy my books anyway?Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-28009611441371894312010-05-08T11:15:28.002-05:002010-05-08T11:15:28.002-05:00I like the second paragraph more than the first to...I like the second paragraph more than the first too, though like G I wonder how many youngish people would recognize all the authors you mention. Sad, isn't it?<br /><br />I'm a big fan of the late Robert B Parker, who wrote detective stories which always struck me as similar to heroic fantasy (though entirely grounded in reality). I love heroes, fantastic or otherwise -- especially if they're flawed. Superman without his allergy to Kryptonite would be a very boring fellow.Mary Witzlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06458299046574564155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-83883052206873096472010-05-06T10:42:46.794-05:002010-05-06T10:42:46.794-05:00Stewart Sternberg, yes, too academic. I guess it&...Stewart Sternberg, yes, too academic. I guess it's a hazard of my job.<br /><br />ArtSparker, I didn't like that either but couldn't think of a substitute. <br /><br />Heff, movies are what the world understands now.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-73679259811957563832010-05-06T10:24:59.991-05:002010-05-06T10:24:59.991-05:00It's a "movie trailer" for a book !It's a "movie trailer" for a book !Heffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13396114362826135207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-27322171433836174252010-05-06T09:53:08.179-05:002010-05-06T09:53:08.179-05:00Re related, ..."recounted"?Re related, ..."recounted"?ArtSparkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04875996639432864367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-12614095414953189592010-05-06T09:41:31.059-05:002010-05-06T09:41:31.059-05:00I wouldn't have gotten through the first parag...I wouldn't have gotten through the first paragraph. I'm just being up front. I think there is something too stilted there, and maybe a bit too safe. Entice me. Make it edgy.Stewart Sternberg (half of L.P. Styles)https://www.blogger.com/profile/00895152179113722902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-69258044294326069382010-05-06T09:27:31.853-05:002010-05-06T09:27:31.853-05:00Harry Markov, gotcha.
Candy, I've left that a...Harry Markov, gotcha.<br /><br />Candy, I've left that and largely eliminated the first paragraph to replace with a couple of sentences.<br /><br />Barbara, I left only about three words from the first paragraph in the final.<br /><br />Writing Without Periods!, That makes it pretty close to unanimous on the first paragraph. Thanks.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-4583297723044616912010-05-06T08:48:24.298-05:002010-05-06T08:48:24.298-05:00I like the back cover blurb. I'd cut the firs...I like the back cover blurb. I'd cut the first paragraph, add needed info to the second paragraph and that will snap it up. <br />Makes me want to read the book.<br />MaryWriting Without Periods!https://www.blogger.com/profile/08790155653220261547noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-28428255851393560132010-05-05T21:59:57.662-05:002010-05-05T21:59:57.662-05:00Charles, the first paragraph will read better if y...Charles, the first paragraph will read better if you take out the last three sentences.Barbara Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00610140328527165017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-59141797735344307892010-05-05T21:56:12.995-05:002010-05-05T21:56:12.995-05:00The second paragraph is wonderful.The second paragraph is wonderful.cs harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13708705800818667923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-74452117195153858972010-05-05T20:42:57.662-05:002010-05-05T20:42:57.662-05:00Ah, good to have that one cleared. I was not sure ...Ah, good to have that one cleared. I was not sure what the tone was [so hard to tell with comments]. Though I am surprised there were people, who did not pick on the genre. It has steel hence bladed weapons and when you say heroes and myths, you get the fantasy or at least pre-industrial era.Harry Markovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09140305922494369576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-21974984214496785842010-05-05T19:37:08.093-05:002010-05-05T19:37:08.093-05:00Harry, what I meant was that you got the type of f...Harry, what I meant was that you got the type of fantasy exactly right! I was surprised some folks didn't get it, but I don't imagine they read heroic fantasy. I consider heroic fantasy to be something of an umbrella term that includes sword and sorcery. I'll post about that one of these days. Sorry if it sounded as if I didn't agree with your comment.<br /><br />Steve Malley, another person posted about objecting to the critic lines. I will take them out.<br /><br />Bernita, thanks.<br /><br />Ivan, indeed!Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-17316604640567295282010-05-05T19:21:31.988-05:002010-05-05T19:21:31.988-05:00:):)ivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05662075375182633162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-52848912141028243312010-05-05T18:32:55.890-05:002010-05-05T18:32:55.890-05:00Charles, it's lovely!
Not the word you want,...Charles, it's <i> lovely! </i><br />Not the word you want, perhaps...Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-59325272750125141562010-05-05T17:59:38.776-05:002010-05-05T17:59:38.776-05:00My suggestions:
1st para: No equivocating. This i...My suggestions:<br /><br />1st para: No equivocating. This is not a scholarly work, so there's no need to hedge your bets. "Heroic fantasy *is*..."<br /><br />Also, drop the two sentences about critics. Anyone with the book in hand, already reading the back-cover copy doesn't need to hear any objection analysis.<br /><br />2nd Para: leave as is. Nice, clear call to action their, at the head and the foot of the paragraph, with a lovely taste of your style in between. Well done!<br /><br />That is all.Steve Malleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17561234111786788616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-45171821650098227012010-05-05T16:43:20.950-05:002010-05-05T16:43:20.950-05:00You asked me to point out, so I did. It is obvious...You asked me to point out, so I did. It is obvious, though I have not read enough to distinguish heroic fantasy from S&S.Harry Markovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09140305922494369576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-50866474848095194132010-05-05T16:35:36.076-05:002010-05-05T16:35:36.076-05:00Aimless Writer, glad you liked that line. Obvious...Aimless Writer, glad you liked that line. Obviously, the first paragraph isn't working.<br /><br />Middle Ditch, maybe I can alter the first to make it less academic seeming.<br /><br />Ivan, I like that line about the harpoon. I may steal that from you!<br /><br />Harry Markov, I thought that was pretty obvious about the type of fantasy.<br /><br />Scott, I hope the book will be coming out fairly soon.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-35236112791530015482010-05-05T15:15:08.152-05:002010-05-05T15:15:08.152-05:00Charles,
I like it. Send forth the heralds to a...Charles,<br /><br /> I like it. Send forth the heralds to all corners of the realm.Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726570487056061877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-71517173911432539452010-05-05T14:41:37.736-05:002010-05-05T14:41:37.736-05:00Sophisticated, inviting and heartfelt as far as th...Sophisticated, inviting and heartfelt as far as the second paragraph goes. I love it and one can tell this is Heroic fantasy or Sword & Sorcery. <br /><br />Though I also love what ivan coined. :DHarry Markovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09140305922494369576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-28875324605773612302010-05-05T14:34:05.518-05:002010-05-05T14:34:05.518-05:00Charles,
I have probably written too many course ...Charles,<br /><br />I have probably written too many course outlines and have a whole shelf-full of blurbs for any possible novels of mine, but I can offer you filip as to how to maybe start your back blurb:<br /><br />How about<br /><br /><em>The literature of heroes makes peculiar demands on the critic, forcing himself more directly than usual with the creative process of the artist working in this well-worked over genre. The reason for this can be directly traced to the crowded environment which almost overwhelms the author writing about heroes, or, for that matter, intelligent cowards who may be villains. It's all been done before. You need a hook. A really good hook, and Charles Gramlich at times seems to wield a harpoon...</em><br /><br />Give ya a buzz? :)ivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05662075375182633162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-59422283361125827782010-05-05T13:37:50.767-05:002010-05-05T13:37:50.767-05:00The second one is very alluring. But you need the ...The second one is very alluring. But you need the first one too. And definitely not over the top.Middle Ditchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16493665280732775898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-41159296850224001102010-05-05T11:32:42.776-05:002010-05-05T11:32:42.776-05:00Second paragraph is great. The first one would hav...Second paragraph is great. The first one would have lost me. If it wasn't you I might not have made it to the second. I think the lines: There are heroes among us. Let us hear their tales. Would have hooked me in a heartbeat.Aimlesswriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03012050763172251381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-63258850050159804812010-05-05T11:31:09.807-05:002010-05-05T11:31:09.807-05:00Laughingwolf, thankee. I need to change that firs...Laughingwolf, thankee. I need to change that first paragraph it seems.<br /><br />Writtenwyrd, yeah, it's pretty universal that the first paragraph isn't cutting it. Thanks.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-72754595931471360542010-05-05T11:29:03.437-05:002010-05-05T11:29:03.437-05:00Natasha Fondren, I thought about mentioning the he...Natasha Fondren, I thought about mentioning the heroes rather than the writers. But I admire the writers a lot. I didn't mean the statement about critics to seem defensive. It's just the truth as far as I can judge it. I'll have to think about it. Thanks for the quality feedback.<br /><br />Cloudia, yeah, "related" is weak. I think some critics have "grown up," but others I feel really never had any imagination to begin with.<br /><br />David J. West, ahh, good point. I didn't even notice that.<br /><br />ivan, some folks get a pass from the critics, for whatever reason. I don't understand it.<br /><br />Mark, hum, I wonder why that comment about critics turns you off. I find it to be a simple truth.<br /><br />Angie, thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.<br /><br />pattinase, hum, that seems to be a common experience. I've never written back cover copy for a collection of stories before. I've done it for novels and it's much, much easier.<br /><br />Richard Prosch, most people seem to prefer the second paragraph by quite a lot.<br /><br />BernardL, yes, I'm finding that out. Thanks.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28221839.post-21827332263396475102010-05-05T11:24:15.063-05:002010-05-05T11:24:15.063-05:00Charles, that wouldn't make me want to pick up...Charles, that wouldn't make me want to pick up the book, but it seems perfect for a forward or introduction by the author! <br /><br />I think I don't care for it is that the first paragraph feels like the back matter for a scholarly treatise on heroic fantasy. But I DO like the language.<br /><br />I think that perhaps if you inverted the paragraphs, it would do fine. "Gather with me around the fire where [stories are told], where smoke stings our eyes [and the drums beat in time with our hearts]. We'll listen [as] darkness whispers outside our camp, but we have no fear: There are heroes among us. Let us hear their tales.... Heroic fantasy..."writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.com